that's why it's called a moment of truth

who you were never truly lets go of who you've become...

so yes, admittedly, i am disgustingly-engrossed, over-the-top, in love love love with every moment of, and a die-hard fan of One Tree Hill.  the precious OTH.  too young to know what the gosh-darn-heck i'm talkin 'bout?  too old to care?   just old enough to know the name, but didn't ever follow it?  truly obsessed like me?  regardless, it's the end of a beautiful time in life.

k, so no need for a trehil-terventention (legend... wait for it... i had ice cream from this "queen" earlier today - dairy!), i am fully aware that this is just a TV show, and really, it's not about the show, it's about the end of an era.  this show has been on since i was in high school, and even though i have changed from an all-too-awkward and ultra-dramatic teen into a semi-awkward and somewhat-dramatic adult, i still love looking back at who i was.  and that helps remind me of who i am, but more importantly who i am becoming.

i'm not ashamed to say that i was in tears by the end of this, not because of 9 seasons of 60 minute episodes impacted my life that strongly, but because the past 10 years of life and God have shaped me into this woman.  and even that i am not proud of, in fact, mostly humbled, because i look back over my years since graduation (with a 10-year high school reunion looming), and cannot believe how incredibly blessed i have been to have had people in my life who not only invested and believed in me, but who have stood by me when i have not lived up to my potential.  not judged, not criticized, but loved unconditionally, while constantly lifting me up in prayer.

and isn't that how we all become who we're meant to be?  who He sees us as, what He is quietly whispering to our hearts, what we know to be deep down, is the true heart of who we are, but have not fully transformed  into... yet.

potential.  yeah, that word has a lot of connotations.  some good and some bad.  i can remember many times being chastised with this word; "you're not living up to your potential", "you have so much potential... (insert implied suckiness here)", and "you're wasting all of your potential."  so i can imagine that a lot of us cringe at this word, but in recent years i have found it incredibly freeing.  instead of seeing it as who i am "supposed" to become, i have recognized the faith of others and God, and seen it as who i am destined to be.  not without dedication, not without hardship, not without suffering or mishaps.  but with the beauty of His hands and grace... and my continued understanding of how it is not about me.

one tree hill, ladies and gents, it's time for a curtain call.  but who we were, who we are becoming... don't bow quite yet, cuz there's a lot more where that came from.  get ready for the encore folks, it's gonna be beautiful.