if you've got a weak stomach or don't care much for potty talk, then stop reading now. f'reals. you will def not appreciate the following bathroom logistical speak. k? alright, you've been officially warned.
so, it's no secret that i work at a certain downtown location that has a lot of citizen visitors (and many who have had tiny run-ins with el lawo), and i'll be honest, some days it's not a pretty sight. i know there are lots of chicks who have a problem with PBs (public bathrooms). i'm not one of them, but i get it, i really do, it's gross, no doubt. lotsa germs, lotsa junk on the floor and lotsa crap (hehe). but most of these womens do not have to use PBs often, and certainly not on a daily basis. i am one of those lucky few who do... but i am also, however, one of the blessed ladies who has co-workers that try their best to make do with a bathroom shared by lotsa other women who don't give a gosh-darn what goes down in there (literally, really, and how many faux-puns can i come up with in one post?)... so we've got our lotions, our soaps, our coping mechanisms, and most importantly, our air freshener sprays (personally purchased with our own money, not tax-payers i might add). get where i'm goin here?
well, you've been sufficiently warned, so i don't feel bad 'bout what i'm gonna delve into next yo.
there is this chick, not just one of course, but a type of chick. she's that girl who doesn't wanna admit that girls poo. i know, i know, shocking! girls do hafta do that too, ya know, as unfortunate as it is.
now, i admit, i have some pretty legit potty humor in me, and honestly, think it can be pretty funny sometimes (thank you Bridesmaids, i nearly pee my pants laughing every time i watch it!). but what's not funny is "this chick." i know, you're embarrassed that you performed a #2 in a semi-public setting... this is not your home bathroom, or one you're used to, BUT for the love of all that is good, PLEASE, USE THE AIR FRESHENER!! you walk out, i walk in, please know that there is no doubt in my mind who left that rank smell!
the jig is up girl, please do not try and act like it wasn't you! no one cares, it's a human function, we all do it, but do not try to walk flippantly out of the bathroom without spraying... it's just unfair to all of us who come after you... (literally).
now, i admit, i have some pretty legit potty humor in me, and honestly, think it can be pretty funny sometimes (thank you Bridesmaids, i nearly pee my pants laughing every time i watch it!). but what's not funny is "this chick." i know, you're embarrassed that you performed a #2 in a semi-public setting... this is not your home bathroom, or one you're used to, BUT for the love of all that is good, PLEASE, USE THE AIR FRESHENER!! you walk out, i walk in, please know that there is no doubt in my mind who left that rank smell!
the jig is up girl, please do not try and act like it wasn't you! no one cares, it's a human function, we all do it, but do not try to walk flippantly out of the bathroom without spraying... it's just unfair to all of us who come after you... (literally).
yes, i know this is a gross topic, but it's a real issue! laugh laugh laugh, gag gag gag... some of us have to experience this all of the time and it stinks (hehehe). there is nothing worse (ok, lots of ('s in this post, but it's true, [yes, there are a few things worse; world hunger, death, etc.] but this is f'real, gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarosssssssssssss!), than walking into a living nasal death trap.
k, end smelly rant here. not sayin, just sayin, if you're a "that chick", please remember the following chant: if caught in the fray, don't forget to spray :)
kelly out yo :)
k, end smelly rant here. not sayin, just sayin, if you're a "that chick", please remember the following chant: if caught in the fray, don't forget to spray :)
kelly out yo :)
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