goodbyes of life

i love words (thank you seseme street and mr. rogers).  there are funny words, silly words, long words, short words, abbreviations, slang... the list goes on and on.  words have this incredible way of reaching inside us and yanking out an emotion, sometimes for a purpose, other times, just because they can.

there are, however, a few words that i truly do carry a great deal of disdain for.  ready?

1. reach out - yeah yeah, i know that this is technically two words, but i have heard this combo being incredibly over used recently.  "i'll reach out to you", "make sure you reach out to soandso", etc.  whatevs, i'm over it. i mean really, isn't the whole point of that term to make people feel included and important? well, when it's over-used it certainly loses those two aspects.
2. community - over it. i like the idea of what the word was supposed to mean, but it has been abused deeply.
3. stress - felt it, been it, lived it, blamed stuff on it... yes, stress, we know we know, everyone is stressed. so? stop talking about it and start doing something to change it!
4. guacamole - the problem with this word is that i have very strong feelings about it, both good and bad, a conundrum really, it is 1) the best tasting food item ever, but 2) it is an ugly word and disgusting color.  i'm torn...
5. goodbye - it sucks. 'nough said.

i've had a lot of goodbyes lately and i'm finding myself a bit reminiscent. i just finished watchin the last season (or should i say the last good season [season 8], which unfortunately was not the actual last season, though it really really should have been) and it was a great catalyst for thinkin about the past, future, and what lies between. btween jord and kristen moving, leaving hennepin county, my babybabybrobro goin off to college, k-penelope leaving for cleveland (i mean really, who goes there anyway?!), and psyching up for the summer ending thing, well, i'm just not too keen on the whole deal.

i'm not sure what my problem is, but i'm not super great at being emotional when the goodbye actually happens.  repressed emotion? cold hearted? not caring? relieved? hmmm, not sure. all i know is that i just don't cry much, at least not when it is socially acceptable to do so.  always seems like it's on a day like today, when i think about all of the goodbyes in my life and how terribly tragic it is that we waste time, so much time that could have been better used with those people.  how easy it is to regret things that we never said or did, but not forgetting how many things i've done or said that i regret much much more.  it's a game, isn't it? you will always have regrets, no matter what you do.  everyone does.  regrets for what you did, regrets for what you didn't do.  and if you say you don't, why, i think you're lying, if you really sit down to think about it.  admitting that you have regrets just means that even if you would do it all over again, if faced with the choice one more time and made the very same decision as you did before, you still might be a little sad about it.  like i said, it's just a game, you don't really win at making decisions in life.  the grass might always be greener, or it might just be green.  i guess that's up to us, right?

goodbyes should be hard.  if they're not, well, i think that means you must live a very lonely life.

so, i do love words.  but i could certainly do without havin to say a few of them, at least for a very very long time.