i had the absolute pleasure of walkin the halls of MOA today for 5 full hours and it was glorious! there is something so incredibly thereputic about it all, beautifully cathartic even. i've always loved the perfectly superficial atmosphere of a place dedicated solely to satisfy the human hunger for stuff. don't get me wrong, i'm fully aware of the "evils" it brings, but often times, it is one of the best places for me to clear my head and gain a little perspective.
today's adventures included some dude tryin to peek over the dressing room doors at chicas changing (which i quickly and quietly informed the store manager about), my annual birthday dress purchase, and after a superb pita pit experience, a distinct longing for bozeman and the freedom of youth.
but, back to relationships. i had the chance to observe plenty of couples today, and it left me thinkin, what the heck is up with relationships??
i overheard several dressing room convos (which, in case you were wondering, are usually just as good, and most of the time, better than girls bathroom convos... i believe that this is partially due to the quality of sound and lack of flushing, as well as the sweet beats some stores put down - groovy baby :)), many which centered around marriage. i came out wondering why people think that getting married cements your relationship with your spouse until the end of time. marriage cements your commitment (eternal) to that person, but not your relationship! in fact, i would even go so far as to say that marriage (commitment) should be quite unaffected by your actual day to day relationship. if marriage means to be completely and utterly committed to someone (and biblically, it does), that should not be affected by you sucking at taking care of the relationship that you have with your husband or wife.
folks will be bitterly disappointed if they buy into this idea that once you get married you've hit this point of perfection, that your relationship is now solid and cannot be shaken. reality check, a ring does not fix two very flawed individuals, in fact, it will magnify those flaws exponentially. but putting time into and working with one another on a daily basis to knit a beautiful continuation of your dating relationship, covered in kisses and lots of love, is the true legacy a marriage can leave.
when i walked out of my glorious shopping haven today, it occurred to me that if that's really what people believe, all you need to do is get married and you will feel this ultimate sense of security, that someone will be there always, that you no longer need to try (or at least not as hard), then it totally makes sense how high the american divorce rate is. of course, if you believe marriage completes your relationship, then you would no longer be striving, you would no longer be treating your spouse as you did when you were dating, you would no longer try your hardest to be attractive to your husband or wife, you might even let yourself go, your "relationship" is taken care of now, cuz you're hitched.
i got news for ya kids, you'd better get your head in the game! yes, it's true, marriage should leave you with a sense of security, knowing that someone loves you and will stay with you no matter what, but that does not define your relationship, just like it would not define your friendships. so what? if you meet someone in 5th grade, decide to be best friends, and then you just always will be that for the rest of time? nope, cuz if you don't take care of that friendship, pretty soon you will not only no longer be best friends, but you might not even be on speaking terms. marriage is based on commitment, so that means you are supposed to be in to the end with your spouse, for better or for worse, so you better get on trying to make it "better" and not end up with "worse". you determine how great your relationship is, and ultimately, if things are not going well, you will have to pay the price. so why not try harder? i'm tired of hearing people complain about their marriages, "it's hard", "he doesn't act like he used to when we were dating", "she doesn't want to do any of the things i like to do"... that's too bad, kinda sucks, but guess what? you're married, you're in it for the long haul now, so get over it and start trying to make things better instead of sulking and feeling sorry for yourself.
all relationships require work, especially those which you cannot walk away from. do i sound a little like an old married woman who is losing patience? maybe... but i think that some people need a bit of a kick in the pants. if you want an easy breezy life, then don't get married (1 Cor 7: 8-9; 32-34). marriage will stretch you, strain you and even make you shed more than a few tears. but if you're up for the adventure and willing to really commit, not just in theory, and really, really work on your relationship - well, then you will be just about the happiest person on the planet, because there is nothing more beautiful or wonderful than the deep and satisfying love built on the foundation of marriage.
and personally, i just couldn't live without my husband, he is my heart...
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