When The Answer Is Yes (And You Didn't Want It To Be)

Today we had Axel's appointment with the specialist to find out if he had to get a helmet for his plagiocephaly.  We've been waiting for months for this appointment, hoping that he wouldn't have to get one.  We've spent countless hours doing physical therapy, chiropractic care, stretches, and special holding.  We've spent money on positional aides, doctor appointments, and special pillows.  We've neglected many other areas of our lives to try and make sure that Axel isn't spending any unnecessary time on his head that could cause further issues.  And today, when the question was asked, the answer was "Yes, he does need a helmet."

Usually a "yes" is a good thing.  Today, it's not.

A helmet, while being a cure for his head issues, is not a true positive thing in our world.  It means a lot of money, more appointments, more physical therapy, and a baby who will be in restrictive headgear 23 hours a day, for the next 3 to 9 months.

In a word, it stinks.

That said, we are beyond blessed that we live in a time and age that there is a form of treatment for his condition and that this issue will not cause lasting damage to his head or development like it would have in the past.  We are even more blessed that we have insurance that has covered some of the expenses, and the time and energy to devote to taking care of him the best that we can.  And we know that this is a very small hurdle in his and our lives, especially compared to the health issues some parents have to face with their children.  We know that we are lucky.

But still, today, it stinks.

Tomorrow will be better, tomorrow I will feel more thankful, tomorrow I will be relieved that I can spend more time playing with my baby and working on his developmental milestones instead of constantly trying to plan every minute of his life based on how it will impact his conditions.

So, while today, it stinks, tomorrow, it won't stink as much.

But today I plan on eating an ungodly amount of Ben and Jerry's and indulging in a little self-pity.  Because tomorrow is a new day, and I want to greet it with a smile.  And maybe a stomach ache from too much ice cream...