friends are friends for... never?

we all grow, do, move.

i know i've thrown this around before, but it is so hard to comprehend that with all of this change that we can possibly stay friends with all of those we come into contact with.  close friends, ya know, not every acquaintance.  i think what gets me the most is that, i really do think that there are seasons for everything.  but what i gotta figure most people, even christians, don't take into account is that this whole season thing is a two-way street.  sometimes God brings about a season in your life for a specific purpose, to forge something deep and beautiful in your soul.  but sometimes, you bring about the season yourself, based on personal life choices.  now i'm not saying the self-inflicted seasons are always bad for us, but let's face it, most of us don't bring a season of happiness upon ourselves, it's usually something not quite so grand (i.e. - we don't usually call having an awesome couple of a months a season, it's usually when the crap hits the proverbial fan :)).

(stepping off of pedestal)

i think that a lot of "seasons" in my life were due to my own human (aka - dumb) choices, and while Jesus brought something beautiful out of them, they were unintended miracles of the heart.

back to friends!  if we are all experiencing seasons, and they may be God or self seasons, and throw in crazy life circumstances, it is just really hard to believe that some of our loved ones will always be exactly that...  now i'm not talkin' marriage.  as you know, i believe that this is a totally different matter, vows and all, "until death" is not a metaphor, or something to take lightly, it really means until your dying breath.  something beautifully romantic in that, not death, but the inexplicable commitment of enduring love throughout years, generations, and finally, in the passing on to God's kingdom.  i am not entirely excited to meet that day, for myself nor for Ryn, i know the heartbreak will be excruciating - but i am excited to meet my beautiful maker.

ok, no seriously, back to friends.  i just don't know.  don't get me wrong, i do have the best of friends, some of which i know that i will love forever and eva, that we will always be connected, even when we're too old to remember each other's names, we'll still sit together on a sunny porch, polishing off strawberry-rhubarb pie and flipping through whatever future "People" magazine they will have in 2080.  but there are others, i just don't know... what if we all change?  and what if that change is what defines where we are going?  and what if where we are going is not only not in the same general vicinity, but in the exact opposite direction?

i know, my head gets too wrapped up in what if's.  my uncle is a teacher who deals specifically with children who have special needs. he told me today about a little boy in his class who used to incessantly ask "but what if...?"  after some time, my uncle has gotten him to the point where instead of asking "what if", he says "i have something to tell you..."  there's a wonderful confidence in that little boy's statement.  i guess i just need to have a little more of that in my life some days, and there's a never-ending wealth of that in a God with all of the answers.

maybe friends are friends forever.