fake it 'til you almost break it

adventures in new jobs are almost built in comedic relief.

life lesson? never take yourself too seriously...

so there i was, three days in at a new job, and along comes a little snag.  since i am a human resources professional, composure is a necessity.  salt needs pepper (the 90's singing sensation, not spices, obv), sunshine needs rain, and HR peps need their brains to work on overtime at all costs in order to keep them out of trouble. since i am clearly not naturally inclined to the whole "composure" thing, or really being reserved at all, i've taught myself a few tricks to keep my chatterbox mouth in line.

1. Gum - always keeps me about 2 seconds behind a convo, and who would think twice about someone chewing gum?

2. Throat clearing - cuz every one has a little phlegm in their life, right? gross - yes.  necessary - no. helpful - yes. do i really need to clear it (do i hear a little "Let me clear my throat"? thank you DJ Kool), nope, but the incidents it has helped avoid speak for themselves.

3. Dramatic pause while looking off into the distance as if you're thinking very hard - this one is tricky, cuz really, i am thinking REALLY hard, it just has nothing to do with what i was just asked, i am wracking my brain for an answer that will be HR appropriate and legally correct, without sounding like i am spittin policies in their general direction.

so these are my basic easy-outs (these also work really well in uber-complicated relationships that you don't really see going anywhere... not recommended for long-term healthy relationships, better to just be honest then :)). i can't tell you my knock-it-outta-the-park strategies cuz those are top secret.

k, back to my 4th day at the new job.  i am chomping at the proverbial bit to make a good impression.  i have been working hard, chattin up the locals and doin my best to really get to know everyone. today, i step into the plant, which restricts any gum, candy or liquid in it... only to quickly realize my major mistake. this is not a little issue, the company can get fined hundred thousands of dollars if bits of food (on, in or due to people), and stop short! so short, in fact, that i started to choke on my gum, drawing quite a bit of attention to myself... i coughed, clearing my throat and looked down embarrassed that i had caused a scene, only to realize that i was wearing sandals in the plant area which is also completely sandal-restricted. what the?!?

as i quickly did an about-face to leave the plant area as soon as i could, i walked straight into the door, trying to catch my balance i practically planted myself on the safety manager, ironically :)  brilliant move hr newb...  and that, my friends, was my 4th day at my new work.

what a way to make an impression :)

bambi, bambi's baby and babying

have had a lot of craziness in the past couple days - watched a deer get pummeled right in front of me, and then saw it's poor defenseless baby wandering around this next morning, unable to take care of itself and truly unaware of how dangerous humans and cars are.  couldn't help but wonder, how much people are like that.  not aware of the evils that lie directly in front of us...

on an entirely different note, a recently married friend commented to me just the other day "marriage ages you, it makes you feel waaaaaay older."  i had to disagree with him, genuinely.  one of the reasons was that my darling husband is just, well, extremely talented at bringing out my immaturity :)  he is someone that makes me feel younger, makes me want to be irresponsible and reckless, in the most wonderful ways.  the other reason though, is that i don't think that it's marriage that ages you, it's this idea of "settling down."  i mean really, whoever came up with this concept of creating the perfect little life, some sort of crazy-unrealistic version of a sedentary and mostly-passionless life, based primarily on stability (and not the good kind)... well that sounds pretty gosh darn old to me. anyway, just a thought really.

i have been super blessed recently by the opportunity to be a part of a group of awesome girls doing a beth moore study.  debachels (and God) should receive all of the credit for a much happier and peaceful version of me in the past couple of weeks.  based on how crazy (externally) my life has been, this study and amazing group of girls could not have come at a more crucial and necessary time.  funny how i almost said no to doing the study because i was "too busy" and didn't think that i had the time to commit.  they have completely babied me in a blissful way.  during our prayer time last night i felt so very blessed, encouraged, supported and loved.  it's been quite a while since i have felt that, especially with a group of girls, and even more so, especially with a group of strong christians.  this is one of the few times i can utter the term community and not cringe from it's unfortunate implications.  these women, i should say we, we have created a refreshing community, one that has been healing my soul (and God of course :)).

random thoughts from kelly? complete!

extraordinary, extra ordinary, extra, ordinary...

like my uncle-father always said "check yourself BEFORE you wreck yourself" :)

i've been suffering from major burnout, both from too much work and too much social stuff.  some times a girl just needs a bit fat break (gimme a break, gimme a break, break me off a piece of that _________!)

here are 10 very important things that i've learned you can do if you're not wasting time on facebook:

1. read this blog!
2. clip your toe nails (buddy, i've seen those suckers, and they need a major tune up)
3. sit on a splendid deck, with dear friends, overlooking a lovely semi-forest, relax and celebrate life
4. teach your dog the difference between a wine bottle and a champagne bottle - thank you Pavlov, your astounding scientific discoveries have given us hours and hours of fun, and a lot of unnecessary slobber
5. dance at a U2 concert 'til you can't move your hips any longer, and hide out when you see the VP of your company coming your direction :)
6. enjoy the memories of a spectacular friendship and look forward to memory-making-futures
7. remember how great life was was when hooch was crazy 
8. get a tan, and not even the fake kind
9. realizing texting can be fun again

and, drum roll please!

    10. no one can tag you in super ugly pics if you have no fb account - so click away peps!

but truly, i think we have lost the art of quiet. peace. simplicity.  and really, the sheer job of appropriately trimmed toe nails.... :)

take a sec yo, maybe even two, you might be missing more than you think you are.

cinnabon love with a touch of impatience

what the heck is up with relationships?

i had the absolute pleasure of walkin the halls of MOA today for 5 full hours and it was glorious! there is something so incredibly thereputic about it all, beautifully cathartic even. i've always loved the perfectly superficial atmosphere of a place dedicated solely to satisfy the human hunger for stuff. don't get me wrong, i'm fully aware of the "evils" it brings, but often times, it is one of the best places for me to clear my head and gain a little perspective.

today's adventures included some dude tryin to peek over the dressing room doors at chicas changing (which i quickly and quietly informed the store manager about), my annual birthday dress purchase, and after a superb pita pit experience, a distinct longing for bozeman and the freedom of youth.

but, back to relationships.  i had the chance to observe plenty of couples today, and it left me thinkin, what the heck is up with relationships??

i overheard several dressing room convos (which, in case you were wondering, are usually just as good, and most of the time, better than girls bathroom convos... i believe that this is partially due to the quality of sound and lack of flushing, as well as the sweet beats some stores put down - groovy baby :)), many which centered around marriage.  i came out wondering why people think that getting married cements your relationship with your spouse until the end of time.  marriage cements your commitment (eternal) to that person, but not your relationship!  in fact, i would even go so far as to say that marriage (commitment) should be quite unaffected by your actual day to day relationship. if marriage means to be completely and utterly committed to someone (and biblically, it does), that should not be affected by you sucking at taking care of the relationship that you have with your husband or wife.  

folks will be bitterly disappointed if they buy into this idea that once you get married you've hit this point of perfection, that your relationship is now solid and cannot be shaken.  reality check, a ring does not fix two very flawed individuals, in fact, it will magnify those flaws exponentially. but putting time into and working with one another on a daily basis to knit a beautiful continuation of your dating relationship, covered in kisses and lots of love, is the true legacy a marriage can leave.

when i walked out of my glorious shopping haven today, it occurred to me that if that's really what people believe, all you need to do is get married and you will feel this ultimate sense of security, that someone will be there always, that you no longer need to try (or at least not as hard), then it totally makes sense how high the american divorce rate is.  of course, if you believe marriage completes your relationship, then you would no longer be striving, you would no longer be treating your spouse as you did when you were dating, you would no longer try your hardest to be attractive to your husband or wife, you might even let yourself go, your "relationship" is taken care of now, cuz you're hitched.

i got news for ya kids, you'd better get your head in the game! yes, it's true, marriage should leave you with a sense of security, knowing that someone loves you and will stay with you no matter what, but that does not define your relationship, just like it would not define your friendships.  so what?  if you meet someone in 5th grade, decide to be best friends, and then you just always will be that for the rest of time?  nope, cuz if you don't take care of that friendship, pretty soon you will not only no longer be best friends, but you might not even be on speaking terms.  marriage is based on commitment, so that means you are supposed to be in to the end with your spouse, for better or for worse, so you better get on trying to make it "better" and not end up with "worse".  you determine how great your relationship is, and ultimately, if things are not going well, you will have to pay the price.  so why not try harder?  i'm tired of hearing people complain about their marriages, "it's hard", "he doesn't act like he used to when we were dating", "she doesn't want to do any of the things i like to do"... that's too bad, kinda sucks, but guess what? you're married, you're in it for the long haul now, so get over it and start trying to make things better instead of sulking and feeling sorry for yourself.  

all relationships require work, especially those which you cannot walk away from. do i sound a little like an old married woman who is losing patience?  maybe... but i think that some people need a bit of a kick in the pants.  if you want an easy breezy life, then don't get married (1 Cor 7: 8-9; 32-34).  marriage will stretch you, strain you and even make you shed more than a few tears.  but if you're up for the adventure and willing to really commit, not just in theory, and really, really work on your relationship - well, then you will be just about the happiest person on the planet, because there is nothing more beautiful or wonderful than the deep and satisfying love built on the foundation of marriage. 

and personally, i just couldn't live without my husband, he is my heart...