Though I am, admittedly, obnoxiously loud-mouthed, I actually hate confrontation, so I played it cool and waited for a minute before making my presence known, and acted like I hadn't heard a gosh-darn thing. And no one was the wiser.
But those words have stuck with me. Not because they weren't nice, but because of the feeling behind the words. The envy. I'm not going to delve into what was said, because 1) I don't think it was intentionally malicious, 2) I've said some pretty dumb things myself (on a fairly regular basis), and 3) I've always said that you will never find me airing dirty laundry on this blog.
When those words were uttered, I think it was a mistake, and we all make those. There's no need to blast it all over the interwebs. But, I DO think it's important to talk about the feeling behind the words.
When those words were uttered, I think it was a mistake, and we all make those. There's no need to blast it all over the interwebs. But, I DO think it's important to talk about the feeling behind the words.
ENVY.
Even the word is kind of frightening. It gives me shivers a little bit. And not the good kind.
I see visions of Cinderella's evil step-sisters or the queen from Snow White. Envy seems so easy to identify and avoid in Disney films, but in real life it's a little harder to pin-point. It's messy and it's tricky. In fact, it's downright ugly.
And yet, even though we know it is so very ugly, we've still all tangoed with that green-eyed lil' monster. And anyone who says that they haven't is probably committing another one of the seven deadlies (I'll give you a hint, it starts with ly- and ends with an -ing).
The big question is - why do we do it? Why do we give in to it?
Oh if only we could just not, right? Cuz it's just that simple... ;)
Envy is messy. Sometimes you're just walking along and see a beautiful house, and the thought just pops into your head that you would love to have that house. OMG, actually, you would REALLY love to have that house. In fact, you NEED that house, cannot live without it! And the next thing you know you've Zillowed the crap out of that sucker and have contacted a realtor. I mean, not that I know this from personal experience or anything... :) Envy is messy. It can happen all of the sudden, without you even realizing it.
Envy is tricky. You know your life is good. You KNOW that you are blessed. And yet. You see that there is more out there. Something that someone else has. Something that you want. Something that, for some reason, you don't have, but they do. What.The.Heck? Our brain is at war with our desires - we know that what we have is enough... But. Oh the "buts".
Why can't we just be HAPPY?
Well, actually we can be happy with what we have. Most of the time. And when we're not, it's mostly because of what?
Envy's core root? We think that we should have more. It's not fair that someone else can afford that car AND that house. It's not fair that someone can afford to stay at home AND buy that purse. It's not fair that they have that job (hair, physique, wardrobe, etc....)! The list could go on and on, and ooooooooooooooon. It's not fair, fair, fair!
Ok, I'm just going to say it to myself, and anyone else who wants to listen. Get Over IT!
Life is not fair. Life is not equal. And that is not an excuse to be envious of everything that every one else has.
But here's the real doozy. What you have will never be enough. Unless you let it be.
Did the conversation that I overheard make me sad? Yes. But honestly, it was the very best reminder that envy can seep into your life in the most innocent ways. And it is so very important to guard against it at all costs.
It was also a reminder that we can find unhappiness in the most happy of life circumstances... We can be envious, even if we (seemingly) have it all. Envy does not discriminate - it will find you, wherever and whoever you are. Envy is a nasty lil' bugger!
So, I am here to say that I think the only cure for that cray-cray green-eyed monster is gratefulness. In a month leading up to the celebration of thankfulness, it seems fitting that we actually think about what can lead us away from this wonderful feeling. And envy is the arch-enemy of thankfulness. If we are focusing on what we have and how grateful we are for it, it's pretty darn hard to be sulking over what we do not have.
You will not find any witty #allyoushouldbethankfulfor Twitter lists here, but I will say this - I plan to spend the rest of this month focusing on my gratefulness for all that I have, and not on what I do not have. Because honestly, the list of "Wish I Had's" could go on forever, for the rest of time itself. But, the list of "What I Have's" is so very fulfilling, that it seems incredibly selfish to think about anything else :)
Happy Thanksgiving month my friends - may November find you grateful and blessed, no matter what your circumstances may be!
And yet, even though we know it is so very ugly, we've still all tangoed with that green-eyed lil' monster. And anyone who says that they haven't is probably committing another one of the seven deadlies (I'll give you a hint, it starts with ly- and ends with an -ing).
The big question is - why do we do it? Why do we give in to it?
Oh if only we could just not, right? Cuz it's just that simple... ;)
Envy is messy. Sometimes you're just walking along and see a beautiful house, and the thought just pops into your head that you would love to have that house. OMG, actually, you would REALLY love to have that house. In fact, you NEED that house, cannot live without it! And the next thing you know you've Zillowed the crap out of that sucker and have contacted a realtor. I mean, not that I know this from personal experience or anything... :) Envy is messy. It can happen all of the sudden, without you even realizing it.
Envy is tricky. You know your life is good. You KNOW that you are blessed. And yet. You see that there is more out there. Something that someone else has. Something that you want. Something that, for some reason, you don't have, but they do. What.The.Heck? Our brain is at war with our desires - we know that what we have is enough... But. Oh the "buts".
Why can't we just be HAPPY?
Well, actually we can be happy with what we have. Most of the time. And when we're not, it's mostly because of what?
Envy's core root? We think that we should have more. It's not fair that someone else can afford that car AND that house. It's not fair that someone can afford to stay at home AND buy that purse. It's not fair that they have that job (hair, physique, wardrobe, etc....)! The list could go on and on, and ooooooooooooooon. It's not fair, fair, fair!
Ok, I'm just going to say it to myself, and anyone else who wants to listen. Get Over IT!
Life is not fair. Life is not equal. And that is not an excuse to be envious of everything that every one else has.
But here's the real doozy. What you have will never be enough. Unless you let it be.
Did the conversation that I overheard make me sad? Yes. But honestly, it was the very best reminder that envy can seep into your life in the most innocent ways. And it is so very important to guard against it at all costs.
It was also a reminder that we can find unhappiness in the most happy of life circumstances... We can be envious, even if we (seemingly) have it all. Envy does not discriminate - it will find you, wherever and whoever you are. Envy is a nasty lil' bugger!
So, I am here to say that I think the only cure for that cray-cray green-eyed monster is gratefulness. In a month leading up to the celebration of thankfulness, it seems fitting that we actually think about what can lead us away from this wonderful feeling. And envy is the arch-enemy of thankfulness. If we are focusing on what we have and how grateful we are for it, it's pretty darn hard to be sulking over what we do not have.
You will not find any witty #allyoushouldbethankfulfor Twitter lists here, but I will say this - I plan to spend the rest of this month focusing on my gratefulness for all that I have, and not on what I do not have. Because honestly, the list of "Wish I Had's" could go on forever, for the rest of time itself. But, the list of "What I Have's" is so very fulfilling, that it seems incredibly selfish to think about anything else :)
Happy Thanksgiving month my friends - may November find you grateful and blessed, no matter what your circumstances may be!
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