Thanksgiving Eve

'Twas the night before Thanksgiving when all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, 'cept maybe an unwanted mouse,

The turkey was brining on the deck in a bucket with care,

In hopes that our whole cray-awesome fam soon would be there,

The Lindstedts were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of green bean casserole danced in their heads,

Kelly in her sweats, and Ryan his old smelly cap,

Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

We sprang from my bed to see what was the matter,

Away to the window we flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash,

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,

Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,

When what to our wondering eyes did appear,

But our turkey out-of-bucket running in fear,

With a massive raccoon so lively and quick,

Following our bird looking for a tasty nip,

More rapid than eagles that 'coon was in chase,

"But that turkey is mine!" I bellowed in bass,

So up to the housetop the bird and 'coon flew,

With Ryan and I following too,

We heard them up there all in a hustle,

I grabbed my glass of wine and got ready for a tussle,

And then, in a twinkling, I saw it go down,

That son of a B was going to take my bird and get outta town,

As I crawled up a ladder and was turning around,

Up came Ryan and dogs with a bound,

With Bridger behind and Luna ahead,

That dumbass 'coon looked on with dread,

That fur-ball dropped our turkey and fled in a hurry,

While we checked over our bird with such very great worry,

But to our delight it was perfectly fine,

Ready to go back in and finish the brine,

Just as we headed back to our super warm bed,

I noticed an odd thing that has stuck in my head,

Our turkey he sighed in his bucket-y home,

With much less to worry about after his roam,

I heard him exclaim as he chilled out of sight,

“Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all a good night!”

When all is said and done:  Remember to be thankful.  Not just for what you have, who you know, or how you live... but for the cross and everlasting peace.

Happy Thanksgiving friends and fam!  

Love!

Beauty And Not The Beast - Best Beauty Buys

I can't help it.  I love beauty and fashion.  Everything that sparkles... Ryan says I'm like a monkey (mostly lovingly ;)), show me something that's shiny and I would give my left arm to get it!

I keep getting asked what I use for beauty products, and have promised a blog entry on it a million times over, but due to my excessive procrastination, this is just now happening.

But, better late than never right? Right!

Before we get started though, you need to know my beauty philosophy:  I love to get all dolled up.  LOVE it.  But, I do not subscribe to the belief that it must be done each and every single day. I also reaaaaaaaaaaally LOVE my sweats and fresh-face days, in fact, just as much as my glam days.  I wouldn't say I'm low maintenance, but I'm definitely not a walking Cosmo ad either :)

So, to that point, I haven't put in all of the crazy stuff that I use irregularly, because honestly, that list could go on for miiiiiiiiiiiiles, I've just included what I use day-to-day, one might call them my "can't-live-withouts" :)

Hair

Shampoo and Conditioner - Redkin All Soft 
This stuff is superb.  My hair is always super soft and not greasy, love it!  It's not cheap, but Ulta usually has a 2 for 1 deal every couple of months and it saves you a ton.  I promise, it's worth it!

Thickening Spray - Bumble and Bumble Thickening Hair Spray
Ok, so, admittedly this stuff isn't for everyone.  If you're blessed with super thick or curly hair, this wouldn't be great for you.  However, if you have more fine hair like I do, this will def help give you more body - some big sexy hair!  Bonus, it lasts forevs.

Hair Spray - Tresemme Extra Firm Control (4)
Girls gotta have her "STAY!" spray, right?!  This stuff is it, and it's cheap!  Can't beat that :)

Highlights - Revlon Frost and Glow
Here's the thing, I have THE BEST hair goddess who always makes me feel gorg... But, sometimes I need a little change up in between salon visits, and this little guy is my very best friend for that.  Always does a great job, super easy to use, and cheap.  LOVE!  Also, if you're going for an ombre look (which is what I always do), it's super easy to use this.  No need to get one of those silly kits - just get this stuff, pick out the sections that you want to do and back comb them so that there is an uneven distribution of where the bleach hits the hair.  Works every single time.  See the pic below of what I just did yesterday!

Make Up

Mascara - BadGal Lash

Ok, seriously.  If I could only have one beauty product for the rest of my life, mascara would be it.  I am OBSESSED with it.  And this IS the best mascara out there.  I promise you, it is seriously TheBest.  And you can trust me because I have tried pretty much every single mascara out there - just ask my hubby ;)  A relatively close second is They're Real mascara, which is pretty rad as well, but is a little too over the top to be my go-to lasher.

Blush - Lorac Pro in Plum Passion

And, if I could only have two beauty products (see above), this would be the second. Hands down.  You can basically tell if I'm having a crappy day by how much blush I am wearing.  Why?  Because blush makes me happy.  I don't know why, I'm sure there is some psychosomatic reason why, maybe ask Freud...?  But it makes me smile.  So, on a crappy day, the blush comes out, and it comes out hard. This blush is AWESOME!  It's the perfect color, it stays on my skin all day, and the container last forever!  I've had my current one for 6 months, and I use it like it's going out of style!

Lip Stuff  - Cherry Chapstick

"I kissed a girl and I liked it, the taste of her Cherry Chapstick" :)  I know, I know, it's not fancy at all, but I cannot live without this.  Unless it's a VERY special occasion, this is the only thing that touches my lips (besides Ryn ;)).  A little bit of pink and lots of soft lips is all I need!

Cover-up - CoverGirl Clean Invisible Concealer

I refuse to wear foundation.  It makes me feel like my skin is simultaneously suffocating and drying out like a freakin' raisin.  But, I do love a good cover-up, just a little touch up where you need it.  This stuff works.  Really well.  And isn't expensive to boot!  It has had my vote since high school and I'm not giving up on it now!

Eyeliner - Ulta Gel Eyeliner in Blackout 

Love this stuff - clean lines, good smudge, and not too pricey.  And it has to be good, because you know how much I love my modern cat-eye Audrey Hepburn look :)

And that's it - this is all that I wear on the reg.  I love to spice it up every now and then, but I don't have as much time as I used to (Mr. A is a pretty good lil' stylist though...), so these are my staples.

Skin

Lotion - Coconut Oil  

Straight up.  It is the best moisturizer, super cheap, you can use it on your lips, and cook with it too!  It's what I would call a pretty awesome multi-tasker :)

Sunless Tanner - Jergens Natural Glow Daily Moisturizer

I know, I know, this stuff probably isn't the best for you, but I still love it.   This lotion rocks, barely smells and really works.  Plus, it's a heck of a lot cheaper than those spray-on places, yucky!

Perfume 

Ok, so I have 3.  Because who can wear just one scent?!

1. Cool Water by Davidoff - I've used this literally since high school.  It is a cheapy, but an oldie and a goody! 

2. Poppy by Coach - This smells aaaaahmazing!  But it can be strong so it's not an every day friend.

3. Ring My Bella by Benefit - This is my go-to buddy, so yummy smelling!  

All of these lil' bottles are delicious, last FOREVER (all of my current bottles are over a year old!), and stay on my skin all day long.  I'm a simple gal, but I still wanna smell yummy :)

Alright, that's the gist of it.  Hopefully I got everything in there that was requested, but if not, shoot me a message and I'll try to add 'er on. 

Happy beauty-huntin'!

E-N-V-Y, you ain't got no alibi!

A couple of weeks ago I overheard something that someone said about me.  Something that I wasn't supposed to hear.  Something that wasn't very nice.  Something that was a little envious.

Though I am, admittedly, obnoxiously loud-mouthed, I actually hate confrontation, so I played it cool and waited for a minute before making my presence known, and acted like I hadn't heard a gosh-darn thing.  And no one was the wiser.

But those words have stuck with me.  Not because they weren't nice, but because of the feeling behind the words.  The envy.  I'm not going to delve into what was said, because 1) I don't think it was intentionally malicious, 2) I've said some pretty dumb things myself (on a fairly regular basis), and 3) I've always said that you will never find me airing dirty laundry on this blog.

When those words were uttered, I think it was a mistake, and we all make those.  There's no need to blast it all over the interwebs.  But, I DO think it's important to talk about the feeling behind the words.

ENVY.

Even the word is kind of frightening.  It gives me shivers a little bit.  And not the good kind.

I see visions of Cinderella's evil step-sisters or the queen from Snow White.  Envy seems so easy to identify and avoid in Disney films, but in real life it's a little harder to pin-point.  It's messy and it's tricky.  In fact, it's downright ugly.

And yet, even though we know it is so very ugly, we've still all tangoed with that green-eyed lil' monster.  And anyone who says that they haven't is probably committing another one of the seven deadlies (I'll give you a hint, it starts with ly- and ends with an -ing).

The big question is - why do we do it?  Why do we give in to it?

Oh if only we could just not, right?  Cuz it's just that simple... ;)

Envy is messy.  Sometimes you're just walking along and see a beautiful house, and the thought just pops into your head that you would love to have that house.  OMG, actually, you would REALLY love to have that house. In fact, you NEED that house, cannot live without it!  And the next thing you know you've Zillowed the crap out of that sucker and have contacted a realtor.  I mean, not that I know this from personal experience or anything... :)  Envy is messy.  It can happen all of the sudden, without you even realizing it.

Envy is tricky.  You know your life is good.  You KNOW that you are blessed.  And yet.  You see that there is more out there.  Something that someone else has.  Something that you want.  Something that, for some reason, you don't have, but they do.  What.The.Heck?  Our brain is at war with our desires - we know that what we have is enough... But. Oh the "buts".

Why can't we just be HAPPY?

Well, actually we can be happy with what we have.  Most of the time.  And when we're not, it's mostly because of what?

Envy's core root?  We think that we should have more.  It's not fair that someone else can afford that car AND that house.  It's not fair that someone can afford to stay at home AND buy that purse.  It's not fair that they have that job (hair, physique, wardrobe, etc....)!  The list could go on and on, and ooooooooooooooon. It's not fair, fair, fair!

Ok, I'm just going to say it to myself, and anyone else who wants to listen.  Get Over IT!

Life is not fair.  Life is not equal.  And that is not an excuse to be envious of everything that every one else has.

But here's the real doozy.  What you have will never be enough.  Unless you let it be.

Did the conversation that I overheard make me sad?  Yes.  But honestly, it was the very best reminder that envy can seep into your life in the most innocent ways.  And it is so very important to guard against it at all costs.

It was also a reminder that we can find unhappiness in the most happy of life circumstances... We can be envious, even if we (seemingly) have it all.  Envy does not discriminate - it will find you, wherever and whoever you are.  Envy is a nasty lil' bugger!

So, I am here to say that I think the only cure for that cray-cray green-eyed monster is gratefulness.  In a month leading up to the celebration of thankfulness, it seems fitting that we actually think about what can lead us away from this wonderful feeling.  And envy is the arch-enemy of thankfulness.  If we are focusing on what we have and how grateful we are for it, it's pretty darn hard to be sulking over what we do not have.

You will not find any witty #allyoushouldbethankfulfor Twitter lists here, but I will say this - I plan to spend the rest of this month focusing on my gratefulness for all that I have, and not on what I do not have.  Because honestly, the list of "Wish I Had's" could go on forever, for the rest of time itself.  But, the list of "What I Have's" is so very fulfilling, that it seems incredibly selfish to think about anything else :)

Happy Thanksgiving month my friends - may November find you grateful and blessed, no matter what your circumstances may be!

El Communicado Manifesto

Alright my lovelies.  It's time to hit this topic.  Hard.

I've been thinking about this one a lot lately, and it's so clearly an important (and often neglected) topic of conversation (Oh irony, you're hilarious) ;)

Let's not beat around the bush:  I am not always the best at communicating with people.  No, wait, scratch that.  Let me rephrase.  Because I am actually really pretty good at communicating with people - but I am not always good at getting back to people in a timely manner...

(GASP!)  What?  No!  (you say).  Yes, it's true....

There are several reasons for this, but none of them include me not caring about the people in my life.  Please, PLEASE, puh-LEASE hear me on this.  If you are in my life, then I care about you, and making you feel like I don't is absolutely the last thing that I want to do.  

But.

Some people just don't get me.  They could've known me for YEARS and still expect a return text or phone call within minutes and are hurt and/or angry when that doesn't happen.  Here's the thing though, I have NEVER been that person.  I mean, really.  Never.  Thirty-one years on this earth and not one of them has seen me being an instantaneous responder.  But, because that is their style and communication timeline, they expect it from others.

And I guess I can't blame them, because it's really our culture.

Our culture, seriously.  Can I just say how ridiculous we are about instant gratification?  We over-communicate in the very worst way.  We FB, Instragram, tweet, swipe, blog (oh hey there again irony, sup?), text, call, link, message, and connect in every possible sort of app out there.  There are literally a hundred ways to communicate with people.  But, even 15 years ago, that was not the case.  And certainly not for thousands of years before that.  I mean, how did people ever survive?!  Without being able to send someone a text and get an immediate response?  Catastrophe must have reigned!  Without instant communication, how would we know if we needed to buy a red onion or a white onion when we forgot our shopping list at home on the kitchen counter?  How would we know if Tom's party moved from Thursday to Friday (and it's ONLY 4 weeks away!)?  And for God's sake, how WOULD WE KNOW if someone just changed their relationship status to "It's complicated"?  Oh the humanity!

Ok, I'm being silly, sure.  I get it, instant communication is actually a pretty good thing sometimes.  Being able to contact someone in an emergency?  Very good thing.  Being able to order a pizza from the grocery store when you've collapsed in a heap on the crate of clearance toilet paper oddly placed in the frozen foods section (don't tell me you've never done this!), having given up on any sort of coherent shopping and all adult budgetary choices?  Uh, yeah, obvi fab.

But, I think we've gone a bit overboard.

Because it's no longer about emergencies and important communication.  Now, it's all about availability.  And expectations that there will be instant contact.  

And because of those things, and the culture that they have created, if that instant contact doesn't happen - we take it personally.  We get hurt, or annoyed, or even worse, angry.  And why?  Because there is an expectation.  I wasn't alive back in the 1800's, but I can pretty much bet that Mary wasn't pissed at Jane when she didn't get a return telegraph from her in a day.  Heck, until the telephone gained popularity, if you didn't live within a few minutes of someone, you probably didn't even SEE them for days (or longer), let alone chat it up.  And did they have any less meaningful relationships than we do now?  Nope, certainly not.

What changed?  Well, technology is the easy answer.  But, it's not the culprit.  Always easy to blame technological advances for our problems, right? :)  I think it was the technology that enabled us, but we were the ones to create a culture that expects - no, DEMANDS - being in constant contact.

And I want to fight back against that.  Not just because I am an introvert, and all of this over-communication is exhausting and not life-giving.  I want to fight back because I think these expectations hurt our relationships.  In fact, I think sometimes they actually cause problems when there weren't any to begin with.  We start making things up in our minds, we start believing things that are totally untrue, and it can tear us apart.

Don't agree with me?  Try this situation on for size...

Sam:  Huh, I texted Lola yesterday and she still hasn't texted me back.  I wonder if she's pissed at me...?  Oh gosh, what did I do?  Hmmm, when did I see her last?  What did I say?  I wonder if it was because I didn't like that Facebook status that she posted a week ago.  Or maybe because I didn't re-tweet that shout out from last month?  Oh no, what if she's seriously mad at me?  I mean, it's been a WHOLE day!

Lola: (Camping for 3 days, no cell phone service, hasn't even seen the text)

Sam: Oh my gosh, it's been TWO DAYS!  She must hate me.  I can tell.  This is the worst.  What am I going to do!?!?!?  Should I text her again?  Or will that piss her off more?  Does she think that I don't care if I don't try to text her again?  Or should I call?  Would that make it worse?  What if I just FB messaged her?  That's like half-way between a call and a text, right?  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Lola : (Still camping...)

Sam:  THREE DAYS!  This is an epic level of anger, I don't know what to do!  Lola must be livid.  I should call.  But will that be too aggressive?  I don't want to make her even more mad!  Alright, I guess we're not friends any more.  Oh gosh, does this mean I'm not going to be in her wedding?  Crap, I'm going to have to try to return that bridesmaid dress...

Lola: (Third day, texts Sam back) "Hey, I was camping, let me know when you wanna catch up."

Sam:  WHAT IS HAPPENING?!!?

Ok, for real, this is a lil' over-dramatic, but honestly, it's not too far off base for some folks. What I am trying to say is that the convenience of talking to people quickly is great.  In fact, it's pretty awesome for some things, but you can have too much of a good thing.

So, after all of this back and forth, I sat down and wrote my own little communication manifesto.  How I want to live my life, even if I haven't been so great at this stuff in the past :)  Here goes...

I refuse to give in to a culture of instant gratification communication.  I refuse to let those expectations sour my relationships.  And, most importantly, I refuse to let my life be consumed with constant communication.  

Instead, though my communication may be less often, I will strive to make it more meaningful.  I will strive to be present in the moment and not constantly worrying about who I have and have not responded to.  I will strive to help those that I love understand, that just because I don't immediately get back to them, that I still care deeply about them.  I will strive to be understanding of other's time lines when getting back to them, because that's what you do for those that you care about.  I will strive to not give in to the culture of go, go, go, and instead, make space in my life for peace and quite, and for a still-small-voice.

So.  There you have it.  I won't apologize for not being an instantaneous responder.  I will work to cultivate important and meaningful communication, and not just filling the voids with noise.  I will fight for those that I care about, and also, encourage them to remember that while communication is necessary to sustain a relationship, it's about quality NOT quantity.

If you've skipped to the end of this novel, don't worry, I understand :)  And if you leave this page remembering only one thing, let it be this:  Don't let the expectations pushed on us by our crazy culture define how you live your life or how you sustain your relationships through communication.

And, on that note, peace out yo. 

When you used to be strong... and now you're weak.

As a parent I have never felt more...

Weak.

Having our son in our lives has changed so many things.  I can't even begin to list them all. The one thing I never expected to feel was weak. I thought I would feel strong.  Empowered.  Like I would conquer the world for this new life.

I always thought I was relatively impenetrable.  Tough. I mean, not really tough, not like eat bugs tough (though I have), or punch some crazy person the face (though I know love conquers violence).  But the core of you kinda tough.  The type of tough that can withstand the worst and still push on through.

I was wrong.

After Axel, Ryan and I both realize how weak we are.  That little being that we created makes us feel so incredibly powerless.  Weak, not because of our status as people, but because of our love.  You love something so intensely, so fiercely, that you cannot possibly imagine what you'd do if something happened to them.

Every movie or TV show, every article or news story, every single thing that involves some baby or child that is terrible makes you weak in the knees - because you cannot even imagine what you would do, how you would cope if it was your baby.

Weak.

It sounds so crazy opposite, but it is so profoundly true.  Being a parent makes you vulnerable to the most terrible circumstances - the worst things that could happen to the little human that you've sworn to love and protect with your life.

And yet, when I think about it, even when the fear creeps in, it is one of the most beautiful things I've ever experienced. I love Axel more than I could ever possibly express.  More than I ever thought possible.

Don't get me wrong, I love my family and friends. And I would curl up and die if anything ever happened to Ryan.  We've discussed multiple times that if anything ever happened to Ryan, the shell of the woman I would be... well, let's just say, there wouldn't be much worth saving.  But Axel, there is this new level of extreme love and responsibility.  This love that neither of us can quite explain.

We try so hard not to be "those parents" who only talk about their kid, and neither of us have ever been "kid peeps", but ever since Mr. A arrived on the scene, who we are, and what we live for has changed.  God has created this precious bond, and because of that, it makes you something more than you are. 1 + 1 = More Than 2 :)

Axel is more than just the two of us.  He is a special combination of us that God inspired.  Special ordered, you might say ;)

But the thing about being weak, in the spiritual kingdom, is that it's actually pretty good.  As long as you use your weakness properly...

2 Corinthians 12:10-11

"... For when I am weak, then I am strong..."

We are weak, but He is strong, which is particularly apparent in our weakest moments. And so, much like the first 9 months of parenthood, Ryn and I will continue to hang on for dear life - in weakness - and praying for God to give us the strength that we need.  His strength.  His guidance.  We cannot do it alone.

And thanking Jesus for every beautiful day that we have with our precious son!  Weakness and all :)