That's pretty much the first thought (minus a few other adjectives, and, let's be real here, occasionally, an expletive or two...) every time I wake up (which is approximately every 2.5 hrs... if I'm lucky!) nowadays. And after that thought I am immediately filled with terror.
Why?
Because I am now responsible for keeping another living, breathing, little human alive. All. Of. The. Time. If that isn't enough to scare the pants right off of you, well, then, you are a braver soul than I!
And, what I am quickly learning is that, while it takes more than a village to help support a marriage, raising (or should I say surviving?) a baby takes an entire army! If I was ever under the delusion that we could do this by ourselves (which, I don't think we were, but you catch my drift), that idea was squashed within 1 hour of meeting Axel. If you've read "more than a village" you already know how passionate I am about supporting marriage, and now I am realizing that the whole "it takes a village to raise a child" statement is grossly understated. Grossly. What a weird word. But true. I wasn't kidding about the army part!
An army? Really? You need that many people just to take care of a 9 lb human? Yup, and here's why:
1) Raising a child requires lots and lots (and lots and lots and LOTS, etc.) of support, from all types of people - friends, family, and in some cases, even a nice stranger! Sheer need defines it, and I don't think the term "village" covers it. You NEED the mass of an army, be it in actual bodies, or just that level of support (or both if you're lucky!).
2) You've still got to maintain and grow your marriage at the same time - life doesn't take a break just because you had a baby... imagine that! You are now doing one of the most important things you've ever done in your entire life AND you have to manage (i.e. survive) everything else that you've always had to previously, on top of that. Talk about an insta-meltdown :) The truth about this one is that it's a bit of a lie - you CANNOT do everything that you used to do. I don't mean to poo on your parade, but the American dream be darned, you will have to give up something. It's just not possible to keep everything the same, nor should it be, you just added a new human to this earth! But the good part is that you get to choose how you change your life to make room for this very important addition. You're not a victim of your baby, you're an adult who gets to figure out what works for you (and them!). But, you also need even more support for your marriage, because if you thought it was hard before, it's gonna get harder babycakes! But it is so, so, soooooooooo good at the same time. I promise.
3) You will break. At some point, you will have a moment when you realize that you cannot do this. It might be today, it might be tomorrow (or it might be both), but you will have that moment (or many of them ;)). And when you do, you need an army-level of support - to come alongside you, to help, to encourage, and in some cases, just give you a much needed break. Because the thing is, it's going to be okay. In fact, it's going to be waaaay better than okay, it's gonna be AWESOME! But in that moment you don't feel like it and you need to be reminded.
These are just three things I've learned so far in my 5 weeks as a (gasp!) "parent". I've got a LOT more to learn, eh? But I will say this, it's only been 5 weeks and I already KNOW that it takes an army, that I cannot do it alone (as Ryan reminds me daily), so maybe I'm not quite as dumb as I look ;)
So, if you are a parent, don't forget that you need an army. And if you're not a parent, don't forget that the parents around you NEED you in their army (this goes for parents too, obvi).
Don't forget - none of us can do it alone, kids or no kids - we need each other!
Why?
Because I am now responsible for keeping another living, breathing, little human alive. All. Of. The. Time. If that isn't enough to scare the pants right off of you, well, then, you are a braver soul than I!
And, what I am quickly learning is that, while it takes more than a village to help support a marriage, raising (or should I say surviving?) a baby takes an entire army! If I was ever under the delusion that we could do this by ourselves (which, I don't think we were, but you catch my drift), that idea was squashed within 1 hour of meeting Axel. If you've read "more than a village" you already know how passionate I am about supporting marriage, and now I am realizing that the whole "it takes a village to raise a child" statement is grossly understated. Grossly. What a weird word. But true. I wasn't kidding about the army part!
An army? Really? You need that many people just to take care of a 9 lb human? Yup, and here's why:
1) Raising a child requires lots and lots (and lots and lots and LOTS, etc.) of support, from all types of people - friends, family, and in some cases, even a nice stranger! Sheer need defines it, and I don't think the term "village" covers it. You NEED the mass of an army, be it in actual bodies, or just that level of support (or both if you're lucky!).
2) You've still got to maintain and grow your marriage at the same time - life doesn't take a break just because you had a baby... imagine that! You are now doing one of the most important things you've ever done in your entire life AND you have to manage (i.e. survive) everything else that you've always had to previously, on top of that. Talk about an insta-meltdown :) The truth about this one is that it's a bit of a lie - you CANNOT do everything that you used to do. I don't mean to poo on your parade, but the American dream be darned, you will have to give up something. It's just not possible to keep everything the same, nor should it be, you just added a new human to this earth! But the good part is that you get to choose how you change your life to make room for this very important addition. You're not a victim of your baby, you're an adult who gets to figure out what works for you (and them!). But, you also need even more support for your marriage, because if you thought it was hard before, it's gonna get harder babycakes! But it is so, so, soooooooooo good at the same time. I promise.
3) You will break. At some point, you will have a moment when you realize that you cannot do this. It might be today, it might be tomorrow (or it might be both), but you will have that moment (or many of them ;)). And when you do, you need an army-level of support - to come alongside you, to help, to encourage, and in some cases, just give you a much needed break. Because the thing is, it's going to be okay. In fact, it's going to be waaaay better than okay, it's gonna be AWESOME! But in that moment you don't feel like it and you need to be reminded.
These are just three things I've learned so far in my 5 weeks as a (gasp!) "parent". I've got a LOT more to learn, eh? But I will say this, it's only been 5 weeks and I already KNOW that it takes an army, that I cannot do it alone (as Ryan reminds me daily), so maybe I'm not quite as dumb as I look ;)
So, if you are a parent, don't forget that you need an army. And if you're not a parent, don't forget that the parents around you NEED you in their army (this goes for parents too, obvi).
Don't forget - none of us can do it alone, kids or no kids - we need each other!
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