Heart Pounding

You know that moment?  The one when you're finally old enough to take notice of the opposite sex, but not old enough to really understand the whole dating game, but you still take a step out in faith, and write a note to your crush, telling them in total middle-schooler-speak, just how you feel about them... Maybe your friends egged you on, maybe you just let your heart do the thinking instead of your head, but either way, you did it!  Do you remember that?  Do you remember how it felt?

I s'pose that moment is different for everyone - could be grade school, middle or even high school.  But either way, you know the feeling that I'm talking about: the rush of exhilaration, fear and hope coursing through you, in about the same ratio.  Those feelings were only made possible because of vulnerability.  Although your baby brain didn't likely understand that word at the time, without your willingness to be vulnerable and take a chance, you would not have had that heart-pounding-sick-to-your-stomach, circled "Yes" in the "Do you like me?" note, crush, or first kiss.  Even if the outcome of those things was not so great (what first love is?), that intense newness, being open to another, vulnerable to share your feelings, thoughts, love, that is a crucial thing.

Funny thing about being vulnerable though, it, like many other things in life, gets much harder as you age.  You develop scars, lose trust, and have some emotional baggage to boot.  Being open, honest, and truly vulnerable is no longer easy.  In fact, it has become a downright struggle.  

How do you continue to expose your heart when you have been hurt so many times before?  

The great brainiac, a brilliant man, Albert Einstein defined insanity as "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."  Well, Mr. Einstein, I hate to disagree, because I am fully aware that our IQs are about as differing as day from night, but I think the one thing that doesn't fit this equation of insanity is love (and therefore being vulnerable).  And to support my thesis, I will quote another pretty bad-ass dude: Paul.  

1 Corinthians 13:7  "Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

Every circumstance.  Let me just say it again - EVERY circumstance.  Hopefully Paul will not be offended that I add a word into his oh-so-wise quote - every SINGLE circumstance.  

Love requires vulnerability.  It is hard, it is scary, and it will hurt.  But without it, you just won't be able to get it right.  And unlike Mr. Einstein's opinion, you will need to do it again, and again, and again... and the results?  Well, those are up to you.  

The thing that makes it bearable, is that this love, this openness, this scary chasm of crazy, doesn't need to be (and shouldn't be) breached by you and your love alone.  We are just not capable of that kind of selflessness.  Good thing that we have a God who is willing to lend us the amount of love that we need for ourselves, and the love that we need for others.

So, vulnerable it up yo - you got nothing to lose, but a heck-uv-a-lot to gain.