there is this quote that i hate, i'm sure you've heard it, and it was likely uttered by someone in your circle of friends or family, at the exact wrong moment, probably right in the midst of a personal crisis that you were having. and so you probably hate it too. here goes: "Life is 10 percent what happens to you, and 90 percent how you react to it." and while i grew up with a father who taught me not to be a victim, and i thoroughly agree with that mentality, i absolutely detest that quote because instead of making me feel empowered (like i am pretty sure it's s'posed to), it just makes me feel like a failure. i'm so bad at life i can't even react the right way! :)
the next totally cliche term that has been thrown around a lot lately is "owning." no, not pwned, though i have both pwned, and been pwned, so no judgement here ;) the concept of owning is basically the same thing as not being a victim and the 10/90 quote, it is based on the idea that taking responsibility for the things that you can control (owning them, not blaming them on others) is not only empowering, but very calming as well. it goes further, to point out that through the process of determining what you genuinely "own" (your weight, your health, your finances, etc) and what you don't "own" (natural disasters, death, etc), you can release a lot of anxiety... choosing to let go of the things that you cannot control, and start actively taking care of all of the things that you can control. i like this idea because instead of making me feel like a little kid who can't do anythin' right, it makes me feel like "hey, yes, let's do this!"
do i sound like a self-help guru yet? if you just said no, then good, because i really do have a point. if you just said yes, then sweet, i'm gonna start sellin' this stuff and get rich! :)
ok, ok, f'reals, what is my point?
i listen to myself. a lot. in fact, i don't ever shut up (mentally and/or verbally). i mean, it's exhausting to be me! :) i also listen to others quite a bit (which is really incredible considering how much time i spend listening to myself... what a superb multitasker i am!), and we all have something in common. more often than not, we choose to let the things/people/circumstances, let's just call it "Z", the Z in our lives make us unhappy. call it whatever you want, being a victim, living 90/10 instead of 10/90, or not "owning things", we allow Z to control us and usually end up incredibly miserable. we hand over the reigns of our lives so quickly it seems like some of us don't even realize that we ever had them in our grip at all!
so, who owns you? what owns you? if answered honestly, these can be pretty scary questions.
the biblical perspective on this i'm still lookin' into, so don't quote self-help guru/pastor kelly on this one quite yet, but i sorta feel like it's basically this: God is in control. always. of everything. but there are also things in our lives that we can control, and it's up to us (with God's help) to figure out what those things are, and when we do, ask for His guidance in gettin'er done. that whole "i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" thang is pretty darn wise, and i aim to live that way. not by my strength, but by His.
one last note for my fellow "failure" addicts: the thing about changing your mentality is that it's impossible to screw up (automatic win!). the victory is trying, not in succeeding. and as corny as it sounds, i really do believe in you. i mean, heck, if i can do it, anybody can! :)
the next totally cliche term that has been thrown around a lot lately is "owning." no, not pwned, though i have both pwned, and been pwned, so no judgement here ;) the concept of owning is basically the same thing as not being a victim and the 10/90 quote, it is based on the idea that taking responsibility for the things that you can control (owning them, not blaming them on others) is not only empowering, but very calming as well. it goes further, to point out that through the process of determining what you genuinely "own" (your weight, your health, your finances, etc) and what you don't "own" (natural disasters, death, etc), you can release a lot of anxiety... choosing to let go of the things that you cannot control, and start actively taking care of all of the things that you can control. i like this idea because instead of making me feel like a little kid who can't do anythin' right, it makes me feel like "hey, yes, let's do this!"
do i sound like a self-help guru yet? if you just said no, then good, because i really do have a point. if you just said yes, then sweet, i'm gonna start sellin' this stuff and get rich! :)
ok, ok, f'reals, what is my point?
i listen to myself. a lot. in fact, i don't ever shut up (mentally and/or verbally). i mean, it's exhausting to be me! :) i also listen to others quite a bit (which is really incredible considering how much time i spend listening to myself... what a superb multitasker i am!), and we all have something in common. more often than not, we choose to let the things/people/circumstances, let's just call it "Z", the Z in our lives make us unhappy. call it whatever you want, being a victim, living 90/10 instead of 10/90, or not "owning things", we allow Z to control us and usually end up incredibly miserable. we hand over the reigns of our lives so quickly it seems like some of us don't even realize that we ever had them in our grip at all!
so, who owns you? what owns you? if answered honestly, these can be pretty scary questions.
the biblical perspective on this i'm still lookin' into, so don't quote self-help guru/pastor kelly on this one quite yet, but i sorta feel like it's basically this: God is in control. always. of everything. but there are also things in our lives that we can control, and it's up to us (with God's help) to figure out what those things are, and when we do, ask for His guidance in gettin'er done. that whole "i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" thang is pretty darn wise, and i aim to live that way. not by my strength, but by His.
one last note for my fellow "failure" addicts: the thing about changing your mentality is that it's impossible to screw up (automatic win!). the victory is trying, not in succeeding. and as corny as it sounds, i really do believe in you. i mean, heck, if i can do it, anybody can! :)
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