gentle

i am an oldest.

if you're not an oldest you are thinking one of the following things:
a) so what?
b) i don't care
c) shut it
d) all of the above

if you're an oldest you are thinking one of the following things:

a) no wonder, i thought i recognized that obnoxious, know-it-all, control-freakness for some reason!
b) i don't care
c) shut it
d) all of the above

now, lucky for you, i have no desire to go into birth-order theories tonight, but i will say, that much of my "oldest" qualities do not lie in (or even near) the land of patience and gentleness.  oldests are typically intelligent and aggressive, and unfortunately,  not always much else... :)

ok, ok, not necessarily, but the truth really is that i definitely do not suffer from an inordinately large amount of gentleness.  surprise surprise :)  i won't make excuses, being gentle in mind, body and soul is just not something i am great at.  

the most important thing that i have learned about being gentle has very little to do with action, it has more to do with restraint.  it's a little like forethought (which i rarely have much of :)), but with the added element of trying to understand how your actions/thoughts/words might impact others.  being gentle with their hearts/minds/bodies/souls.  sounds easy, right?  i wish...

the longer that i have lived as a self-proclaimed not-so-nicey, bordering on austere, i have become more and more aware of the incredible importance of gentleness.  you are not gentle for your own sake.  it's time consuming, often silly, and sometimes even nerve-grating, but it is not without purpose.  that purpose?  love.  you exhibit pure and unadulterated love to those that you use gentleness with.  especially those that are not readily aware of your love.

could i utter that biting (and even honest) comment that is being formed under my breath?  yes.  could i pass you in rush hour when you are the one car standing in the way between me and my sweatpants?  yes.  could i smile, nod, and listen even though i already know exactly what you're going to say?  yes.  

being gentle is rarely actually physical.  most often, and most arduous, is the struggle to be gentle with the hearts of others.  you're not gonna feel like it, it's gonna be easier not to be, and i'm betting that most of the time you will feel justified in doing/saying/being exactly how you feel.  but it will not be gentle.  and as hard as it is, to soften your heart, your soul, and your mind, it is incredibly worth it.  because you're not gentle for yourself.  you're gentle for those that you love, and a God that honors this as a spiritual gift.  

i don't have any witty "gentle" comment tonight folks, just the honesty of what being kind and quiet can bring. 

don't underestimate a soft heart.