more than yourself

i am not maternal.  like, at all.  if anyone i know hadta describe me, well, they would, and i'm sure some very interesting adjectives would be uttered, but maternally-inclined would never be one of them.

but here's the epiphany i've had recently (wait for it, shocking revelation coming soon, ahhhhhhhhh!!), you don't have to love babies, toddlers, or even kindergarteners to want children.  i think that the craziest thought i've ever had regarding the scary "kid topic"(but totes true, as are most of my thoughts {insert ridic laugh here}), was that you don't have to want kids to have kids... GASP!

no, i am not suggesting that you should have unwanted babies.  instead, i would propose the following argument: if, in the future, you want:
a) someone to teach
b) a person to share memories with
c) a heritage you're proud to have someone carry on
d) you want a family
e) the desire to love someone more than yourself AND one of the above

if #e is true for you then it's gosh-darn possible that you would be a great parent. shocking?  yes.  true? absolutely!

you don't become a parent because you like a particular phase in the stages of life - i.e. "I loooooooooooooove babies!! (googoogaagaa voice - GAG!), "Toddlers are the best, when they start crawling it just makes me cry!" or "When they really start to think for themselves, that's the best time in parenthood!".  in my humble, non-parent opinion, i believe none of these are really true of why one should be become a parent, though they may be totally true of your feelings.  instead, you have a kid because you want to pass on some of yourself, to share your heritage, someone to teach, mold and love.  to me, that's a true parent.

like i said, i'm not too much of a mom-type (though there is nothing wrong with that at all), if there is such a thing, but i do want to have children some day.  not because i want a baby, or a 5 year-old, but because i want to see a beautiful combination of myself and my incredible husband walk this earth, and hopefully, make it better than we can. i want a family.  i want to see God shine through someone, something, that we created.  that is why i want to have a child some day.  i believe that is the true heart of parenthood.

judge me if you want, that's okay, and hey, i reserve the right to be wrong.  but i believe in our future offspring, and i cherish the life that we will someday create.  i feel like that isn't quite enough to say, but i can't really put it anymore succinctly than that... so, happy child-bearing, friends and good luck! :)