Just Cuz You Love Me...

I've been pretty terrified about something lately.  Other than the obvious anxiety at the thought that JT is now doomed to a life of song-writing for children's movies.  No, even scarier is this trend where we as a society have begun to equalize love with the acceptance of all the choices of others.

You guys, am I the only one who is really alarmed about this?

We have quite literally come to the point where if you don't accept the choices others make than you must be a ___________ (insert a pick-your-poison awful term here).   What does that do?  I mean, seriously.  What is does is make everyone afraid.  Any normal human being anyway.  It means you're afraid to say that you don't agree with someone's choices because apparently that means that you don't love them or value them as a person.

And I am here to say this, to shout it from the rooftops: You can love and value someone and still not agree with every single thing that they choose to do.  Please hear me on this.  I am not talking about accepting someone as a person.  Because accepting someone as a person IS a part of loving them.  But it does NOT mean accepting every thing that they choose to do or be in their life.

This new mentality is actually pretty ridiculous when you think about it.  Really.  I mean, for crying out loud, do I agree with every choice my two year old makes?  Of course not.  Does it mean that I love and value him any less?  Of course not.  Obvi.  I know it sounds silly, but truly, to take this even further, would you even fully support every decision that you've ever made in the past?  Unless you're perfect (I fall short of this), probably not.

Somewhere along the line we got lost.  We forgot what love looked like.  We forgot and so we made acceptance our new "love".  Somehow acceptance of everything meant we loved each other.  But acceptance is a fickle creature, always changing.  And sure, it's attainable, but it's never sustainable. At least not truly.

You're a straight up liar if you say that you accept everyone's choices all of the time.  You don't.  No one does.  You see, the thing is, you really can't because most choices are based on opinions of what is best, and "what's best" is so incredibly individualistic, and by sheer numbers, we will never completely be on the same page, even with those we love and cherish most deeply.

And that's why this scares me so much.

If this is what we're becoming - a culture that values "acceptance" over honest love and value, well, I want no part of it.

Acceptance is easy because it takes nothing from you, a simple nod of agreement, even if the agreement is false.  But love, love is hard.  Love means you hang on and passionately pursue, it means you push on through.  Even (and especially!) if you don't always agree, or accept, the choices of others.

And if you ask me again someday later, maybe when I'm older and wiser, I bet you all that I have within me, I'd still say that's something that I'd never disagree with.

So, let's stop being afraid. Let's stop the madness.  Let's start choosing love instead of the easy way out.