An Apology...

So.

Today I watched my baby brother be completely reamed out for doing something nice.

Let me start from the beginning.  It was our early Mother's Day celebration for my (amaze-balls!) mom.  And at the grand ol' OCB in Burnsville, when the Alsdurf clan gathered to celebrate our matriarch, the best lady ever, Peggy (I could write an entire blog about her alone!), we watched my bro be completely disrespected by an elderly man.  While we waited for the youngest sib, Mr. Nathan-munchkin-Alsdurf, we saw an older couple making their way to the restaurant door.  The woman was clearly disabled, needing the help of her husband and a walker, and even then, they seemed to both struggle getting around.  We saw Nate arrive, and like the extremely responsible and good-hearted young man he is, he tried (TWICE!) to open the doors for them both.  Not only did the man deny Nate (twice!!!), but once he walked in and joined us, the man proceeded to lecture Nate on how he shouldn't be trying to open the door for others and why.

You see, some people do not realize the impact of their actions.  And there are some people, mostly those who have lived on this earth a long time, that should really know better.  With the sheer number of years they've spent on this ball of water, land and air, they should know the weight of their words, and they should choose them carefully.

But they don't always.  And sometimes, like all of us, they make mistakes.

My initial reaction was that of anger.  How dare this man, regardless of age, be so rude to someone who was just trying to be nice.  I was livid.  Finding someone of the younger generation who would even think to open the door for others is rare, and that man just made my brother feel like a jerk for just trying to be nice and respectful.  I wanted to yell some very choice words right in his face.

But, I didn't.

So, instead, here is my apology...

To the elderly man:  I'm sorry that you have a disabled wife, it must tough for both of you having to deal with that.  I'm guessing that being older you must experience a lot of hard things in your life. I'm sorry that because of your life experiences, you must have felt some need to defend yourself.  I'm sorry that you didn't feel the respect and honor my brother was trying to convey with his offer to hold the door open for you.  I wish the best for you and your wife, a life of peace and joy.

To my brother:  I'm sorry that you were denied the immense joy of helping others.  In a world that rarely encourages being honorable, I'm so sorry that when you tried to be that, you were not only publicly embarrassed, but also denied the opportunity to bless someone.  I'm sorry that man's personal issues didn't allow him to be thankful for your gesture of kindness.  But mostly, I'm sorry if his poor reaction makes you balk at trying to respectfully honor others in the future.

You see, the thing is, that dude had his reasons for acting the way that he did.  But so did my brother.  And the thing that breaks my heart, is that when kindness, true kindness, is doled out and denied, it keeps us from trying to do it again in the future.  Sure, I could rant and rave about how my brother is in the right, and this man was in the wrong.  But it wouldn't do any good.  It won't change what happened, and it won't change what will happen in the future.  But I can apologize for the unfortunate experiences, and pray that it doesn't happen again.

So, again, here is my apology, a blanket apology for those of us that have reacted poorly to the kindness of others:  I'm sorry.  It was wrong.  And it shouldn't happen again.  And to everyone else, please don't let those bad experiences keep you from being kind again in the future.  Your love changes things, don't forget that.

My brother is a rockstar, and handled it all like a champ.  He responded with respect and integrity, and I couldn't be more proud.

Don't let the hardness of heart that others bear keep you from responding in love.  It's hard, but everything that's worth fighting for is...