Out of Control

There are some pretty addictive things in this world, but none is more enslaving than control.

The thing about control is that if we feel like we have it we seem to do okay... but when we feel like we don't have control, we act bat-poop-cray-cray...  The funny part is, really, do we ever actually "have" control?  I mean, do we control what we have for breakfast and how much time we spend dinking around the house?  Sure.  But, over big life circumstances?  Usually not.

And yet, even though we know that... control is like a drug that we can't get enough of.  Sometimes we even fool ourselves into thinking that we have control, right?  I've caught myself numerous times exercising "control" over things in my life, that in reality, are just as likely to have not happened as they were to have happened.  More like luck, if you believe in such a thing.

Driving home today I got behind a really slow driver.  Like, monumentally slow.  The kind of driver that makes you wish that driver's licenses could be revoked by normal citizens.  On a two lane road, there was nothing I could do but sit back, lay off the gas, and let this super slow Corolla make it's way to wherever their super slow selves needed to be (but apparently not very quickly).  A mile later, there had just (as in JUST) been an accident - the drivers were still exchanging their information.  It didn't look like anyone was injured badly, but it was a pretty big car/truck accident.

Mr. Slow Corolla (who shall now be known as MSC) took his sweet time making his way around this obstacle as well, but I was too engrossed to notice.  All I could think of was how, if I hadn't been stuck behind the Guinness Book of World Records Winner for Putziest Driver Ever, that smashed up car might have been mine... or worse, had I not been going at such an astronomically slow speed, I may have come around the corner and actually hit the driver of the car trying to get out.  Now of course, in those types of situations, our minds always tend to go to the worst possible scenario, and maybe there was no "bigger plan" for my being behind MSC, but it still makes you think, right?

I think I am in control, but really, I'm not.  And guess what?  Neither are you :)

And yet, we toil, day in and day out to get control, as if it is something to be attained.  When the big things in life seem like they are in constant flux, we grasp at anything we can to create some barrier, some fortress against the change.  Something, anything, to hold on to...  our finances, our weight, our work schedules, our pets... as if any of these things can give us what we're really looking for - which is peace.

It's just a little past Christmas time, and this year my family spent some time going around the circle and reminiscing.  We each talked about one of our favorite memories of a past Christmas.  One of mine was junior year of high school when my group of close friends did a Secret Santa exchange.  To be honest, I'm getting old, and I really don't even remember who's name I had, or who had me.  But, I do remember a lot of crazy running around, finding out locker combinations, leaving secret notes under desks and sneaking out late on Christmas eve to go leave presents on people's door steps.  It was an absolutely perfect Christmas.

I know you're thinking "Aww, isn't that sweet, but what the heck does this have to do with control?"

Right.  On to the point.  After reminiscing I started to think about how, even though I love my past Christmas memories, they rarely have much to do with the actual reason for the season - Christ.  Christ came to save us... that little baby in a manger, came to save us from certain death.  But he didn't come for just that.  Because you can be saved from death and still be miserable, right?  Absolutely.  He also came to bring us peace... And now you're thinking, "Oh yeah, the Prince of Peace, that whole thing, I get it now!"  :)

The point is, striving after control will not save you.

Please hear me on this, you will not feel more in control, no matter what you seem to have control over.  This drug really won't help you.  What you need is peace, and that's not something that you can get by yourself (I know, I've tried!).  So take a minute to just breathe, and let it sink in.  If peace, and not control, is what you need, then I think you know where to get it...

Merry Christmas friends, and may you have a very peace-filled year!