My first trimester way pretty rough. Actually real rough. And why am I telling you this? Because I think it's important to be transparent, and also, I think it's important for those of you with a bad case of "baby fever" (ahem, ahem, I think you know who you are!) should hear what it "can" be like. I know I know, not everyone has it this bad, but many have it way worse than I do, and I just think it's important to hear the whole spectrum.
So to start off with, I blame my friends... Ok, not really. But truly, all of my friends who have been/are pregnant all seemed to take to it like a duck to water. I, on the other hand, have taken to it much like a cat to water. As in, clawing, screeching and the general feeling of "oh dear Lord, I'm drowning, this is going to kill me!" You know, super chill and all.
Not that I expected to look as calm and serene as every preggo starlet who graces the cover of US Weekly, because let's face it, I'm no Gisele, but I didn't entirely expect just how difficult it was going to be either.
So I'm gonna give you the low down... the good, the bad, and the funny. Fair warning, this is pretty detailed, so if you're squeamish, this might not be the post for you :)
- The Good: They've definitely gotten bigger!
- The Bad: Oh. Dear. Lord. I literally wake up every morning feeling like I've been kicked in each breast. Repeatedly. And if, by some chance, I forgot to put on a sports bra before going to bed (because I was too nauseous to get up one MORE time), then take that initial pain x 100. I've always thought boobs were overrated, and this experience has definitely cemented my thoughts on this particular feature of the female anatomy!
- The Funny: Who knew these things could be so multi-purposeful? Now that I'm past the first tri and can actually eat again, they make a GREAT shelf to put my snacks on...
- The Good: I can smell everything. I mean EVERYTHING! My supposedly scentless plants, a camp fire a mile away, socks that are all of the way across the room that Ryn tried to convince me were still clean... Everything. I don't think Superman had super scent, but if he did, I would STILL be able to smell better than him.
- The Bad: Just as an FYI - Ryan is eating corn nuts downstairs right now. Do you know how I know? Because even though he is approximately an entire floor and over 50 ft away from me (downwind) I can still smell those God-forsaken nuts! Ok ok, you got me, I actually love corn nuts, dangit. Mmmmmmmm...
- The Funny: On the bright side, my sense of smell is so strong I could put myself out there to get hired as a drug dog... Just call me McGruff!
- The Good: Ummm. I don't know if it's possible to come up with a good one for this. Let's just say it keeps you humble :)
- The Bad: I have a strong stomach. A stomach of steel some may say... but I have never, in my entire life, felt as crappy as I did for those two months straight. Because of my new-found super power of smelling, even things I have never smelled before made me wanna hurl. And we're not talking, like, "Ooooh, I'm a little nauseous, hold on, it will pass", we're talking "all day and night, bed/couch-ridden, gripping the covers, leaving nail marks on cushions, hold on for your life because it feels like it's never gonna pass" kinda nausea. And they keep telling you it will get better. Everyone does. Your doctor, the nurse, your family... everyone. Pretty much anyone who's ever been pregnant, will, when you tell them that you've been having morning sickness (all day and all night long!), launch into their experience with it, and then, they end their way too long story with some variation of "but afterward I realized it really wasn't that bad, you'll be fine..." What?! Are you really trying to downplay how miserable I am while simultaneously telling me I will be fine? Yes, I know it will be fine! I am aware that eventually I will no longer feel sick. However, that time is not now, and right now I feel like poop. So please stop telling me it will be fine, ok? Instead, just nod your head understandingly, and commiserate with me. Ok? Ok. #dontarguewithasickpregnantlady, #morningsicknessisaveryeffectivedietplan
- The Funny: Ok, but really, now that the nausea has (mostly) subsided, I can see a little humor in this. I mean, life is good, my toilet had never been cleaner, my purse had never been more full of snacks, and I caught up on every single show. Ever. Like, every show there ever was. Ever.
- The Good: If you've ever been really concerned that someone might mistake you for some young beautiful model, this will most definitely NOT happen to you while preggo. So. You have that going for you...
- The Bad: Ooooooooooh the acne... I know, I know, some people have this every day of their lives, but this isn't something I've had to deal much with throughout my life, so it was a very unwelcome visitor. Ugh, GROSS. Some people have it much worse, I get that, but it's just that you feel so greasy! All.Of.The.Time. Calling all emergency responders, oil slick Kelly has just arrived!
- The Funny: I single-handedly refilled the oil tank of my 2001 Corolla by wringing out my facial towel over the hood of the car. Ok, not really... too far?
Alright, have I complained enough? :) I know, this is pretty lame to talk about (esp if babyland really isn't on your radar), but I do think someone should be open and honest about feeling icky, and not just the "beautiful" and "glowy" moments of pregnancy.
All of that said, we are eternally thankful for this baby. I would do this all over again, even 1000 times worse, just for this child. Thank God for the miracle called life!
Afterall, the rest of our lives are going to be filled with the good, the bad and the ugly (and funny!), at least this has a pretty gosh darn good outcome!
Afterall, the rest of our lives are going to be filled with the good, the bad and the ugly (and funny!), at least this has a pretty gosh darn good outcome!
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