My parents never built a house. But they did build a home.
I look back at a childhood full of amazing memories and incredible experiences. I look back at a teen-hood full of friends constantly at our house, raiding our fridge and spending way too much time in front of my parents' TVs and on their couches. I look at an adulthood full of awesome holidays, super delicious food and great family time. My parents have built a home to be proud of.
I have two brothers. Three kids my parents have "raised", (four in total), but as I am sure would be seconded (and thirded), there are many other kids that my parents have unofficially raised, or assisted in the raising of. Maybe even countless amounts... All of these kids have felt that my parents house was one of their homes. And now my parents have an additional son (Ryn), and we are sooo very excited to finally add a woman (and sister!) to this Alsdurf brood with Jerilyn! My parents have so many children I don't think that they can possibly deal with all of them! We're a lil' cray, but I don't think that's a surprise to anyone :)
But to get back to the main point - my parents have built a home. There are some people who put stock in their stuff, their car, their career, or even a house. My parents never put much stock in any of those things - sure, they taught us to be hard working, fiscally responsible and dedicated to our jobs, but they never honored those things above what counts. More importantly they taught us to be loving, considerate, kind, Jesus-lovin' adults... they taught us never to shirk from our responsibilities, but also never to rely on just ourselves, to lean on the only One who can save us. They put stock in building a home (not a house), a family, and a heritage of faith.
I'm not a parent, but I s'pose someday I will be. I hope that when I am, that I am able to follow in such amazing footsteps. The most wonderful part of having such an awesome family and incredible parents who have blessed you beyond words with their admirable lives, is that they've left you this unmistakably clear path, a treasure map, for the future.
Let it never be said that they saying "history repeats itself" is a negative thing. Repeating history is a choice, and I am privileged to be able to walk in the footsteps my parents have created.
Thanks Mom and Dad - you are truly the best. Ever.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Life Lessons From Dawson's Creek
I wasn't much of an angst-y TV show watcher in my younger years (Now? Uh, ummm, yeah...).
I didn't really get into that kinda stuff back then, it always seemed like I had enough drama in my own life to keep me busy :) But, in college, my dear friend Bernie introduced my bestie Hil and I to Dawson's Creek, the epitome of late '90's early 2000's teen turmoil and romantic craziness. Sadly, the year that we began watchin' DC, was also it's final year... but that didn't stop us! We spent many much-needed study hours throughout our first year of college in our Morris dorm rec room glued to the TV with rented DVD seasons of DC. My grades freshman year may or may not reflect this certain pastime, but I will never tell.
As a full-grown adult, this should be an embarrassing revelation, but I'm not ashamed, because as silly as it sounds, I actually learned a lot during my first year of college, and very little of it had to do with the classes that I attended. I hate to say it (mostly because of the presence of my never-ending student loans), but some of my my most perfect life-learnings that first year were through this show and the friends that I watched it with.
How can you regret something like that?
Feeling a little nostalgic after my 10 year high school reunion last spring, I found all 6 (stellar!) seasons of DC on Amazon Prime and decided I'd watch just a few. Just a few turned into much more, and now almost a year later, I have finished watching the entirety of the creek and all of it's glory.
For most other nearly-30-year-old women, this would be ridiculous to announce to the world. Luckily, most of the world does not read this blog (ha ha, suckers!), and how can I be ashamed of once again having learned a few lessons along the way? And because I know that many of you have never, and will never, condone this type of television indulgence, I'm gonna highlight a few things for you. Maybe you'll see a little bit of baby-college-Kelly, or maybe you'll see a little bit of "Oh-my-gosh-is-that-a-gray-hair...??-oh-thank-God-it's-just-blonde"-adult-Kelly in these tiny nuggets of truth, but either way, I hope that they make you smile.
- For a supposedly "poor" girl, Joey Potter has a LOT of coats. Like, f'reals.
- Life is not like the movies (or the TV shows).
- "It's not about knowing what's right, it's about knowing when it's wrong and doing something about it."
- I forgot that Joshua Jackson was actually a good actor (cough, cough, Fringe?).
- With all of the studs that Katie Holmes kissed on this show, how in the world did she end up with Tom Cruise?!?
- "Dreams come true, not free."
- Apparently, in order to properly end a popular teen show, you must kill off one of the main characters (why Jen, why?!?)
- "A soulmate is like a best friend, but more. It's someone who knows everything about you and makes you a better person. No, actually, they don't make you a better person, you do that yourself, but you do it because they inspire you to be better. It's the one person who knew you, believed in you and accepted you before anyone else did, or would, and no matter what happens, you will always want the best for them."
- 90's soundtrack songs will always rock. Forever and ever.
- Hope springs eternal.
- Dawson is a ugly crier. We're talkin' end of the world, full throttle, "U-G-L-Y, you ain't go no alibi" ugly.
Memory lane is a fun place to take a leisurely drive every once in a while, just make sure that it's not your daily commute...
Anyone up for a Dawson's reunion? :)
I didn't really get into that kinda stuff back then, it always seemed like I had enough drama in my own life to keep me busy :) But, in college, my dear friend Bernie introduced my bestie Hil and I to Dawson's Creek, the epitome of late '90's early 2000's teen turmoil and romantic craziness. Sadly, the year that we began watchin' DC, was also it's final year... but that didn't stop us! We spent many much-needed study hours throughout our first year of college in our Morris dorm rec room glued to the TV with rented DVD seasons of DC. My grades freshman year may or may not reflect this certain pastime, but I will never tell.
As a full-grown adult, this should be an embarrassing revelation, but I'm not ashamed, because as silly as it sounds, I actually learned a lot during my first year of college, and very little of it had to do with the classes that I attended. I hate to say it (mostly because of the presence of my never-ending student loans), but some of my my most perfect life-learnings that first year were through this show and the friends that I watched it with.
How can you regret something like that?
Feeling a little nostalgic after my 10 year high school reunion last spring, I found all 6 (stellar!) seasons of DC on Amazon Prime and decided I'd watch just a few. Just a few turned into much more, and now almost a year later, I have finished watching the entirety of the creek and all of it's glory.
For most other nearly-30-year-old women, this would be ridiculous to announce to the world. Luckily, most of the world does not read this blog (ha ha, suckers!), and how can I be ashamed of once again having learned a few lessons along the way? And because I know that many of you have never, and will never, condone this type of television indulgence, I'm gonna highlight a few things for you. Maybe you'll see a little bit of baby-college-Kelly, or maybe you'll see a little bit of "Oh-my-gosh-is-that-a-gray-hair...??-oh-thank-God-it's-just-blonde"-adult-Kelly in these tiny nuggets of truth, but either way, I hope that they make you smile.
- For a supposedly "poor" girl, Joey Potter has a LOT of coats. Like, f'reals.
- Life is not like the movies (or the TV shows).
- "It's not about knowing what's right, it's about knowing when it's wrong and doing something about it."
- I forgot that Joshua Jackson was actually a good actor (cough, cough, Fringe?).
- With all of the studs that Katie Holmes kissed on this show, how in the world did she end up with Tom Cruise?!?
- "Dreams come true, not free."
- Apparently, in order to properly end a popular teen show, you must kill off one of the main characters (why Jen, why?!?)
- "A soulmate is like a best friend, but more. It's someone who knows everything about you and makes you a better person. No, actually, they don't make you a better person, you do that yourself, but you do it because they inspire you to be better. It's the one person who knew you, believed in you and accepted you before anyone else did, or would, and no matter what happens, you will always want the best for them."
- 90's soundtrack songs will always rock. Forever and ever.
- Hope springs eternal.
- Dawson is a ugly crier. We're talkin' end of the world, full throttle, "U-G-L-Y, you ain't go no alibi" ugly.
Memory lane is a fun place to take a leisurely drive every once in a while, just make sure that it's not your daily commute...
Anyone up for a Dawson's reunion? :)
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Maybe Today You Can Put The Past Away
You know how in movies you always know when someone is gonna die? They either totally villainize (word?) someone, or completely cast them in this angelic light (crazy, cuz, in a way, isn't that tryin' to show where they're gonna go when they die...?), I mean, we're talkin' soft-lense filters on the cameras even. The second you see that filter, it's like "Oh man, crap is gonna get real and that dude is gonna die yo!"
Life isn't like that so much. Not the whole death and soft-lense stuff, but I really do think that when we look back at certain "scenes" from our lives, it's pretty apparent what God was doin' and why He was doin' it.
My past is weird. But so is everyone else's I guess.
I feel like I've learned so many things over my 29 years... Each day is new, complete with adventures and opportunities, reasons to become better than the day before.
The scared little girl who hid in the shadows of others, thrived in the realm of passive aggressive behavior/drama (in both relationships and life), and never really knew what she wanted is gone. Someone else has taken her place.
Our pasts can debilitate us if we let them, but it's up to us to choose the future. We are not victims, we are not witnesses, we are protagonists.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
The thing is though, that because of my past, I've often viewed God as a judge. I have done some pretty dumb crap in my life, many things that I regret and wish I could take back. If I'm honest, the moments in which I've thought "I'm totally gonna get punished for this..." have often been in my past. Not because I'm an exceptionally bad person (is anyone?/aren't we all?), but because guilt can take root in many forms, even if it is the residual kind.
What is not a part of my "Past + Guilt = I Suck" equation is grace. It's pretty apparent from the verse above that Jesus has my back, He does not see me as a hopeless cause, someone who cannot change, or a complete waste of His time. He's sees me as redeemed, worthy, and someone whom He loves.
What's great about this is that (besides the fact that, boy, do I need grace!) it can lead my into a new and renewing perspective of myself. I do not have to live as someone is who is condemned to a set way of living, expecting certain failures, or that I must be bound to do wrong at some point.
Everyone I know has got a reason to say - "put the past away."
You can't hide from your past, nor should you, it's a part of who you are, but it's okay to put it away and focus on becoming who He meant you to be. Excited to see the plans enfold for all of us - He's got some pretty awesome stuff in store, I'm sure of it!
Life isn't like that so much. Not the whole death and soft-lense stuff, but I really do think that when we look back at certain "scenes" from our lives, it's pretty apparent what God was doin' and why He was doin' it.
My past is weird. But so is everyone else's I guess.
I feel like I've learned so many things over my 29 years... Each day is new, complete with adventures and opportunities, reasons to become better than the day before.
The scared little girl who hid in the shadows of others, thrived in the realm of passive aggressive behavior/drama (in both relationships and life), and never really knew what she wanted is gone. Someone else has taken her place.
Our pasts can debilitate us if we let them, but it's up to us to choose the future. We are not victims, we are not witnesses, we are protagonists.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
The thing is though, that because of my past, I've often viewed God as a judge. I have done some pretty dumb crap in my life, many things that I regret and wish I could take back. If I'm honest, the moments in which I've thought "I'm totally gonna get punished for this..." have often been in my past. Not because I'm an exceptionally bad person (is anyone?/aren't we all?), but because guilt can take root in many forms, even if it is the residual kind.
What is not a part of my "Past + Guilt = I Suck" equation is grace. It's pretty apparent from the verse above that Jesus has my back, He does not see me as a hopeless cause, someone who cannot change, or a complete waste of His time. He's sees me as redeemed, worthy, and someone whom He loves.
What's great about this is that (besides the fact that, boy, do I need grace!) it can lead my into a new and renewing perspective of myself. I do not have to live as someone is who is condemned to a set way of living, expecting certain failures, or that I must be bound to do wrong at some point.
Everyone I know has got a reason to say - "put the past away."
You can't hide from your past, nor should you, it's a part of who you are, but it's okay to put it away and focus on becoming who He meant you to be. Excited to see the plans enfold for all of us - He's got some pretty awesome stuff in store, I'm sure of it!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Pride ( <------ Before------> ) Fall
Yesterday was an epic failure.
The house was a mess, laundry to be done, dishes piled high, projects left unfinished, work was unproductive, and I finished exactly 7 minutes of my 30 minute workout.
Stellar.
As my youth pastor used to say, "It was a 'curse the cat and kick the dog' kind of day!" (Ironically, to my knowledge, he never had either of those pets, but it's a great saying either way :)) Just to clarify, I neither kicked nor cursed any living thing, but there may be a few inanimate objects that I owe an apology to t'day...
So, this morning I woke up with a new attitude and a fresh perspective. I was going to conquer today! This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it, and all that jazz... I made coffee, breakfast, and even took my vitamins - this day was gonna rock!
I was stoked for the fresh snow fall, but it had drifted up onto our garage door and I was a lil' nervous about trying to get out since my 'rolla barely "rolls" these days. However, here's what you need to know about me: I'm an awesome driver. I know that this may be hard to believe considering my constant ADHD and incredibly uneven thought-to-speak ratio, but I aced my behind the wheel test, and haven't stopped rockin' a driver's seat since!
Unfortunately, pride comes before the fall.
In my defense, I was right, this day was gonna rock - and so was my tiny car - as I gunned the gas to get it out over the snow, slid into the garage, hard, and lost my beloved passenger side mirror. And not just a little bit, like, broke it the heck off. Gone-zooooooo.
The thing is, while I still maintain that I am a great driver (duh!), every day is not a win. Statistically, they just can't be. And really, they prolly shouldn't be. Right? Can you imagine the amount of pride we would struggle with if we never had an off day?
Some days, we pretty much fail, but that's not what's important - it's when we get up the next morning and run our cars into the garage - I mean, uh, rock it!
And while my driver's pride is a bit wounded at the sight of the sad picture above, I am not above admitting when I am wrong. God is good, and while He may occasionally let us fail, He won't let us fall (car mirrors aside, of course).
Happy snow day friends, enjoy the (snow) fall!
The house was a mess, laundry to be done, dishes piled high, projects left unfinished, work was unproductive, and I finished exactly 7 minutes of my 30 minute workout.
Stellar.
As my youth pastor used to say, "It was a 'curse the cat and kick the dog' kind of day!" (Ironically, to my knowledge, he never had either of those pets, but it's a great saying either way :)) Just to clarify, I neither kicked nor cursed any living thing, but there may be a few inanimate objects that I owe an apology to t'day...
So, this morning I woke up with a new attitude and a fresh perspective. I was going to conquer today! This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it, and all that jazz... I made coffee, breakfast, and even took my vitamins - this day was gonna rock!
I was stoked for the fresh snow fall, but it had drifted up onto our garage door and I was a lil' nervous about trying to get out since my 'rolla barely "rolls" these days. However, here's what you need to know about me: I'm an awesome driver. I know that this may be hard to believe considering my constant ADHD and incredibly uneven thought-to-speak ratio, but I aced my behind the wheel test, and haven't stopped rockin' a driver's seat since!
Unfortunately, pride comes before the fall.
In my defense, I was right, this day was gonna rock - and so was my tiny car - as I gunned the gas to get it out over the snow, slid into the garage, hard, and lost my beloved passenger side mirror. And not just a little bit, like, broke it the heck off. Gone-zooooooo.
The thing is, while I still maintain that I am a great driver (duh!), every day is not a win. Statistically, they just can't be. And really, they prolly shouldn't be. Right? Can you imagine the amount of pride we would struggle with if we never had an off day?
Some days, we pretty much fail, but that's not what's important - it's when we get up the next morning and run our cars into the garage - I mean, uh, rock it!
And while my driver's pride is a bit wounded at the sight of the sad picture above, I am not above admitting when I am wrong. God is good, and while He may occasionally let us fail, He won't let us fall (car mirrors aside, of course).
Happy snow day friends, enjoy the (snow) fall!
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Eye Of The Beholder
Beauty.
It's a funny word when you think about it. That word conjures up something very specific in each person's mind, but usually is not the same to each person. You know what beauty means, the word that is, maybe even the definition, but how it may "look" to you could (and likely may) be entirely different to the person sitting next to you.
What do I think?
I think beauty is a joke. It's a cruel joke, but a joke nonetheless. We live in a time and age in which the idea of beauty has become so corrupted, so very grotesque, that it is almost too depressing to think about.
Pretty much anyone in any magazine (minus National Geographic :)) has been altered in one way or another. Almost every woman you see in the grocery store, Target, or on the street, has been done up in one way or another. Make-up, fake nails, cellulite cream, stretch mark faders, false eyelashes, hair extensions and hair removers, fake bake, tummy-tuck, hair dye, anti-aging everything, teeth whitened/brightened/or just plain fake, botox, boob job, and the list could go on and on (and on and on...).
Natural... what's that? Now don't get me wrong, I don't have a vendetta against any of the things listed above. Some of them I have not only done, but genuinely enjoy. But my point is, it's all just a joke, none of it is real, it's all just perception. A carefully placed mirage. An act.
There is little that I love more than to spend some good quality time gettin' all dolled up for a special occasion. It's the best! But it needs to be grounded in the reality that none of those things make up the real us, instead they are everything but that...
We are whole. Without any additives, or any other "tives". It's fun to have a fancy night, or if you like to do it every day, great, you are more motivated than I am! Vanity becomes a problem when the illusion has taken the place of the reality. Somehow a make-up-less face starts to be looked upon with great disdain, an ivory skin tone instead of tanned, or freckles uncovered, is something to be ashamed of, a few jiggles of cellulite are the bain of an existence... when those things become truth, that is when it has gone too far. From playing dress up, to when the desire for beauty became a god, something that defines who you are.
When it really comes down to it, the whole "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" thing is pretty interesting. It's basically saying that you define beauty. Or possibly more, maybe even that we must have certain qualities in ourselves to properly "see" beauty. A self-absorbed, pompous, or vain person is likely to look at everyone around and not see any beauty in them, because they believe that they are the most beautiful of all (mirror, mirror, on the wall...), it is what they "behold", but it is certainly not true. Conversely, those who have true beauty inside of them are fully capable of both seeing and acknowledging the beauty in others. Even better, they are not threatened by it! What a truly wonderful thing, a gift and a treasure.
True beauty isn't a joke, but remember that everything on the outside is a farce. We all wear a mask, but don't forget what's underneath... what really matters.
So smile that beautiful smile of yours proudly. You are gorgeous no matter what, but don't feel guilty about putting on some lipstick, I won't tell :) You're beautiful! (Christina Aguilera anyone?)
It's a funny word when you think about it. That word conjures up something very specific in each person's mind, but usually is not the same to each person. You know what beauty means, the word that is, maybe even the definition, but how it may "look" to you could (and likely may) be entirely different to the person sitting next to you.
What do I think?
I think beauty is a joke. It's a cruel joke, but a joke nonetheless. We live in a time and age in which the idea of beauty has become so corrupted, so very grotesque, that it is almost too depressing to think about.
Pretty much anyone in any magazine (minus National Geographic :)) has been altered in one way or another. Almost every woman you see in the grocery store, Target, or on the street, has been done up in one way or another. Make-up, fake nails, cellulite cream, stretch mark faders, false eyelashes, hair extensions and hair removers, fake bake, tummy-tuck, hair dye, anti-aging everything, teeth whitened/brightened/or just plain fake, botox, boob job, and the list could go on and on (and on and on...).
Natural... what's that? Now don't get me wrong, I don't have a vendetta against any of the things listed above. Some of them I have not only done, but genuinely enjoy. But my point is, it's all just a joke, none of it is real, it's all just perception. A carefully placed mirage. An act.
There is little that I love more than to spend some good quality time gettin' all dolled up for a special occasion. It's the best! But it needs to be grounded in the reality that none of those things make up the real us, instead they are everything but that...
We are whole. Without any additives, or any other "tives". It's fun to have a fancy night, or if you like to do it every day, great, you are more motivated than I am! Vanity becomes a problem when the illusion has taken the place of the reality. Somehow a make-up-less face starts to be looked upon with great disdain, an ivory skin tone instead of tanned, or freckles uncovered, is something to be ashamed of, a few jiggles of cellulite are the bain of an existence... when those things become truth, that is when it has gone too far. From playing dress up, to when the desire for beauty became a god, something that defines who you are.
When it really comes down to it, the whole "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" thing is pretty interesting. It's basically saying that you define beauty. Or possibly more, maybe even that we must have certain qualities in ourselves to properly "see" beauty. A self-absorbed, pompous, or vain person is likely to look at everyone around and not see any beauty in them, because they believe that they are the most beautiful of all (mirror, mirror, on the wall...), it is what they "behold", but it is certainly not true. Conversely, those who have true beauty inside of them are fully capable of both seeing and acknowledging the beauty in others. Even better, they are not threatened by it! What a truly wonderful thing, a gift and a treasure.
True beauty isn't a joke, but remember that everything on the outside is a farce. We all wear a mask, but don't forget what's underneath... what really matters.
So smile that beautiful smile of yours proudly. You are gorgeous no matter what, but don't feel guilty about putting on some lipstick, I won't tell :) You're beautiful! (Christina Aguilera anyone?)
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