The Big C Word

Someday there will be time to blog about all of the ins and outs of having to tell my husband he has (had?) cancer.  Today is not that day.  Today is the day that we get our 'ish together and figure out a plan.  And tell you as much as we know.

So...

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Here's the skinny:
Ryn was released from the hospital late on Sunday.  He has some minor restrictions for the next couple of weeks (mainly not lift his children, who are freakin' giants [no, really, they just had their well-children checks and vaccinations, 100th percentile for height AND weight, for BOTH of them!]... Can we say modified single-parenting once again? :)) to let his body heal and regain it's strength.

The pathology came back on Ryan's tumors.  Yes, that was an S.  I really do hate pluralizing.  Two tumors.  They thought that there was only one, but alas, while medical technology is amazing, it is only so good.  They confirmed that the bigger of his two tumors was cancer, a specific kind called a carcinoid tumor.  The smaller tumor is benign and nothing to worry about.

So.  It is really good news that the cancer that they found is out of him.  It really is.  And we are SO thankful that they found this.  The word "miracle" was thrown around by our surgeon more than once, and honestly, we feel that.  We believe that.  Had Ryan 1) not had a massive GI bleed, 2) not gotten a pill cam, and 3) not had a fantastic GI specialist who pushed for answers, we would have been in a VERY different boat.  A bad boat.  One might even say a Titanic, perhaps.

But.  Always a but.  Since he had one carcinoid, his likelihood of having more is much higher. Since these tumors can be very small, they will need to do a very special scan to make sure he doesn't have any others.  We were also told that Ryan may have a blood disorder as he bleeds excessively, so that's something that they will be looking at as well.

So, our next steps include:
Searching for additional tumors, checking his blood, working with his oncologist and hematologist, and then nailing down a care plan.  Of course, with anything medical, as I'm sure you know (but I wish you didn't, because I think we all wish we didn't have this kind of experience), the plan will change as they find out more.  The simplest outcome is that they find no additional tumors and Ryan will undergo yearly scans to make sure that the cancer has not come back.  Anything besides that is obviously going to require a more intense plan.

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And that's where we are.  It's scary.  And hard.  And we are so thankful, but still anxious.  Thanxious?  Is that a word?  Well, it is now.  We know that things could have been MUCH worse.  But, we also know that we may have a long walk with the big C ahead of us.

We have been SO blessed by everyone's prayers and offers to help.  You guys, I literally cannot tell you how much it has touched our hearts.  For real.  I read Ryan everything I get, and vice-versa, and it all helps.  Every single little text or message or voicemail.  It's almost silly, really, because before being in this situation I was always the person who downplayed my own voice.  I'd think, "Who am I?  They don't care if I'm praying for them - I'll pray, but I don't need to tell them".  OMG.  So wrong was I.  Power for the course I guess :)  So, just know, I mean really, REALLY, if I haven't already said it to you personally, thank you so very much.

People keep asking how to pray, which is basically for everything.  But, if I had to break it down, it's pretty much this... Pray that:

• Ryan is healing well, is SUPER healthy, and that they find NO more cancer
• Our doctors have definitive answers and a good care plan
• We would continue to raise our boys with a strong trust in a God who loves them, takes care of us, and doesn't leave us alone when we're suffering  

Again, HUGE props to our fam who have gone above and beyond to support, love, and take care of our kiddos during Ry's surgery!  

We will never cease giving thanks.  Every moment, we will be thankful for a God who fights for us. And thankful for each one of you.  

Much love from us, and hopefully, much more boring updates in the future...

39 Days - Ryan's Story

Well hello there!

I've sat down to write this about a million times, but with two kiddos and lots of craziness, this has continued to get the boot on the list of priorities. But.  I keep getting asked the same questions, and while I typically shy away from using this blog as an information source, this seems like a more efficient way of telling everyone the same information all at once instead of repeating myself over and over (although, I do have a toddler, so the whole repeating myself a bazillion times is kinda my jam...).

So here goes.

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A Recap:
39 days ago Ryan had a massive GI bleed and was hospitalized for 5 days.  It was very serious and had we not lived so close to a hospital (among other things, like me still being home on maternity leave, Ryan being home early on a work day for an appointment, us being able to leave at a moments notice, etc.) he probably would not have made it.  He underwent several tests while there, but they were unable to find where the bleed originated from.

They sent us home once he was stabilized with several restrictions and a list of other outpatient tests and procedures that needed to be done.  Each test and procedure has required major restrictions, been pretty miserable in general, has meant no eating for at least a day or two if not more, and having every single particle of pretty much anything flushed out of his body. Super fun.  And, while a very effective weightloss plan, neither Ryan or I would endorse losing a few pounds this way.  Stick with Weight Watchers.  Trust me.

Since they didn't know what caused the bleed there was no way to fix it, so there was a high likelihood that it could happen again at any time.  Because of that, Ryan hasn't been able to eat or drink a lot of things that could cause issues (i.e. no alcohol, blood thinners, chinese food [just FYI, no chinese is pretty much the worst punishment you can give someone, I want to be very clear about that], etc.).  We've also been required to be near a hospital at all times.  And just in case all of this wasn't stressful and super sad enough as it is, we had to cancel our vacation to Mexico that we'd been planning for 3 years... Insert mini pity party here ________.  Okaaaaaaaaay, and done.

What We Know Now:
Through the course of testing we've found that Ryan has a small tumor in his small intestine. Because they haven't been able to get to it, they do not know if it's malignant (bad) or benign (not bad).  The tumor ulcerated and is what caused the bleed over New Years.

Next Steps:
Ryan will be undergoing major surgery on Thursday to remove the tumor.  They will be doing what's called a "resection", taking a "small" section of his small intestines out (about 5 to 6 inches) and then reattaching each end.  They will then test the tumor and surrounding tissue to see if it's benign or malignant.  It will take about a week to get the test results.  Once we know what type of tumor it is we'll be able to determine what next steps are.

Depending on how invasive the surgery has to be, Ryan's hospital stay will be anywhere between 3 to 7 days, and longer if he has any complications.  He will have some restrictions for at least the first 4 weeks after surgery, but we're hopeful that we are on our way toward healing for his body.

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So, that's where we're at.  It's been a loooooooong 39 days.  Full of tests and migraines, hunger and medications, tears and frustration, and we are exhausted both emotionally and physically.

But. God is still good. And we trust His hands are on Ryan, and our family.  We know He is in control, and when fear has tried to fight it's way in, His peace has filled our hearts.

We have received really great care from all of the GI specialists and surgical teams that we've worked with, and we are hopeful that this surgery will be the end of what has seemed like a very long road.  Our friends and family have been an incredible support system and have helped us in countless ways.  Truly, we could not have made it through all of this without them.

Even in the midst of all of this, we have SO much to be thankful for!

And it just has to be said: Ryan has been a freakin' trooper throughout all of this.  He has suffered through a LOT of stuff over the last several weeks and I seriously haven't heard him complain once.  Not including all of his other misery, his New Years was spent in a hospital, his birthday was spent going through another frustrating and painful procedure, his Valentine's day will be spent once again in a hospital, and his Mexican vacation was taken away.  And not a single complaint.  You guys.  This man is my hero, for real. I've never been prouder to call him my hubs. In sickness and health is no joke yo, but lemme tell you, I wouldn't have it any other way... Being by this man's side is the only place that I want to be.

Alright.  That's pretty much it.  If you have questions hit me up, but I will plan to update via blog after the surgery once we have the results of the tests and what our next steps are.

We would love your prayers...  Forever blessed by you all!