You guys. It has been a looooooong past few months. And I am so tired.
We had a rough holiday season. Thanksgiving was close on the heels of a LOT of social activities (read: exhausting) Christmas day found us with ear and throat infections, pink eye, and the flu. New Years Eve found us at a wake.
I have found myself running on the proverbial "empty". My grace and patience levels have basically been as low as the sub-zero temps here in good ol' Minne-snowta. I'm fairly certain that I have been a pretty non-existent friend and an only partially engaged family member.
So, that is why you haven't heard from me...
In all honesty, I kept starting to write, over and over again, different topics, different ideas, but nothing came to fruition. And I realized it was because right now is a season where I just don't have much to say. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I won't blog just to fill up space. I won't blog just to keep up my readership or to make sure that I'm still relevant. I will only blog if I feel like I have something important to say. If that means that not as many people read this lil' dandy, well hey, I'm cool with that. I want to make sure there is space out there in people's heads for their own thoughts and not my continuous monotonous mind-dribble :)
And, I might even be quiet for a little while longer. Because here is what I've learned in this season of shutting up: Being still is the very best medicine for all of what we've experienced recently.
In fact, I actually miss the silence. I love not talking, not pretending to know the whys or hows, or questioning the what-ifs. Over the past few exhausting months something became very apparent - sometimes it's not the people around us, or the things that we are doing that tire us out - sometimes it's the lack of quiet inside. It's me. It's what's going on inside of me. It's the voices in my head, in the least amount of crazy person way. Yes, it is ridic busy, and yes, everybody needs something, and yes, it can feel like it's constantly go-go-go, but what I really need is some inside quiet, not outside quiet. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd like some outside quiet too, but as I currently have a 1 year old (ACK! How did that happen?!?!) who has decided that all things fun must be obnoxiously crazy-loud, I doubt that will happen anytime soon. Or ever. I can't always control the outside quiet, but I can actively work on the inside quiet.
Being still. Cease your striving. Stop fighting. Be still.*
So, I'm still here. Even if I'm a bit on the quiet side. Don't worry, you know how much it pains me to shut my mouth, so that won't last long ;)
Cheers!
*Psalm 46:10
